Phillip Long is not your average slam poet. If you’re not into poetry slams, you may even wonder what a typical slam poet looks like. I tend to think of poetry slams as “urban poetry with an attitude.” And in that way, Phillip Long is similar to that description. But, most slam poets are not Boeing 777 pilots and fathers of four children. And most do not look like they could be the cover photo for GQ or Forbes. Phillip Long is all of that, too.

At the writer’s conference I recently attended, he spoke for at least 15 minutes, non-stop, and the entire speech was comprised of him reciting his poems. And he never looked down at his notes, once. Yes, everything was memorized. His poems are not easily memorized, either. And while he spoke them conversationally, they all had that “poetic feel.” They are also incredibly, smartly written. I kept wanting Mr. Long to slow down so that I could soak in the “sheer weight” of his skillful writing and speaking. You feel bombarded by imagery and truth when listening to him speak, but all in a good way.

To say that I was not alone in these sentiments is to utter a huge understatement. The whole audience of veteran writers was stunned and silent as he spoke. We even hesitated to burst into applause as he finished because we were all still drinking in his last words. So, is it any surprise that I booked my bod to the conference book store and bought his very affordable, Jesus Poetry Slam? (According to Amazon.com, it is currently out of stock.)

Here are a few excerpts that particularly spoke to me:

1. His dedication page: “This is not what I had planned for middle age.” You’re reading my mind, Phillip…reading my mind.

2. From “Castles in the Air”:

So we settle for concrete castles, though vaporous souls bid us “higher.”

We have determined that infinity is measured by cause and effect

We believe that miracles must have reasons.

We seek for what we can hold–only to discover that we are held, by what we seek.

3. From “We are More”:

We are more than a carbon-based anomaly experiencing the illusion of meaning

We are more than the culmination of random particles streaming

We’re more than a biological accumulation dreaming

And more than a brilliant beast with a taste for plans and scheming.

4. From “What Did You Expect”

A public killing by the Feds; an occasion for a city,

The crowd turned out by thousands just to watch, to mock, to pity.

This wasn’t some back alley hit; some unsolved crime or mystery,

But caught by honored scribes and sages. Logged for all of history.

Professionals who kill for pay were hired to do the deed.

Phillip Long is a co-founder of the Sacrificial Poet Project. To hear more Jesus slam poetry, click here.

Tomorrow’s Post: It’s someone’s birthday…

Warning: Get a beverage first.

Special Note: I am editing this as I reel from the news about the Boston Marathon. The tragedy that struck there should not deter us from doing good things for others. If anything, it should motivate us, even more, to do even greater works to counteract the evil in our midst.

Note: I first wrote this in February of 2009 after making a rather huge decision for my own life. Later on in the week, you’ll understand why I chose to re-post this now. At the bottom, I have provided an update. We are the selfless acts we perform for others:

I met her in 1993, a few short months after moving to our little Texas town. At first she intimidated me, honestly! She didn’t smile often and she was ALL business. We met in Sunday School, back when our kids were tots and very soon, I realized why everyone talked about her. I encountered her next as President of the Young Homemakers, a group that does community service around talking to each other about how challenging it can be to be a mom of little ones.
Next I encountered her as President of the elementary PTO. I noticed a trend–when she ran a meeting, they were done in an hour and productive. Few others seemed capable of such a feat, considering that the Board was composed of 27 very talkative, very opinionated, very stubborn women.

Then, she came down with thyroid cancer. While I wouldn’t say I knew her well at this point, something compelled me to visit her hospital room while she recovered from surgery to eliminate the cancer. I think she was a little surprised and stunned to see just an acquaintance visiting her. I was a little surprised myself. To this day I don’t know why I did it…but I think it had something to do with how she would eventually influence my life.

She was there, like many others, when I had my own crisis a few years later…those sudden heart attacks I often talk about. I don’t even want to know everything she did for me then. Let’s just say I felt her presence.

Next, she subbed as secretary of the church while I was drowning in church financial paperwork. As usual, she was competent in every way and I so wished she would just stay to do the job right.

I wound up working at our local university and one day not much later, so did she. We decided to do a certification together that would require us to get up at ridiculous hours on Saturday mornings to go to a town an hour away. I decided that I didn’t want anyone but her seeing what a grizzly bear I would be at that time of the morning. I knew she wouldn’t hold it against me! We solved the world’s problems then and talked about what we hoped our children would do later in life….the stuff that Moms talk about. And in those car rides, a friendship–an undying friendship was born.

Next stop was visiting colleges together with our eldest children. It was both a time that brought a lot of giggles to our faces and a time of complete and utter frustration–watch 2 moms try to counsel 2 very stubborn children on how to be independent…yeah, that’s really what I said…let’s just say 4 people were all very upset with each other and yet, we still came out on the other side loving one another even more intensely.

About this time the hubbies starting buddying up, too, and that’s a rarity…when you not only have a friendship, but your spouses do, too. Pretty soon I found myself loving her children as my own, for not only were they wonderful people in their own right, but they often interceded to make my children’s lives better, too.

One fall she and her daughter got it in their heads that our family and another should be invited to their Thanksgiving Dinner. That was one fun, crazy day and a tradition was born. What’s more…a new family was born…the infamous, wonderful BIG family.

One day the local “momma mafia” started emailing, calling and texting asking me if I had seen her lately. I hadn’t–many of our convos happened over instant messaging! But, soon I did and I knew why I had been contacted. Something was drastically wrong with Ms. Competent and we were gearing up for “Iwo Jima” to make sure she got herself looked at…that’s the momma mafia for you!

The exams confirmed our worst fears…Ms. Competent was dealing with Stage IV Breast Cancer…it was ravaging just about every part of her body. And yet, despite our collective tears, worrying, and overzealous attempts to help her family, she persevered and got herself back to the point where she could work part-time and be that mom again.

Soooooo….because she’s her, because she’s my buddy, because she’s the second mom to my kids, because she’s Ms. Competent, I’ve decided to send her a little “Get Well card” by walking the Dallas Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk next November in Dallas.

We’ve started a team…Kim’s Krew. The eldest DS consented to be my personal coach and chauffeur during those 3 days. See you there!

Update 2013: Kim’s health took a “nose dive” in the fall of 2009. Kim’s Krew completed the 3 Day in early November 2009, raising more than $ 10,000 in donations. Kim was there, even though she had just endured yet another painful round of chemo. (And even though we told her it would be just fine if she didn’t attend.) Unfortunately, Kim lost her battle with breast cancer in early 2010. We still miss our Kim…a LOT.

Point to Ponder Challenge # 1: My second cousin, Deb Cottle, is now battling breast cancer and was diagnosed at age 30 in 2011. A benefit spaghetti dinner will be taking place to help offset her substantial costs in fighting this nasty disease this coming Saturday from 3 pm to 7 pm, local time. If you’re in the Scottville, Michigan area, would you please do me a favor and eat some spaghetti and donate what you can? If you want more details, let me know an email where I may reply. I cannot attend (prior commitments, unfortunately), so you’ll make me one happy woman if you can attend for me!

Point to Ponder Challenge # 2: If that’s not possible, then do Deb and Kim a favor and sign up to run or walk in a breast cancer event in your area. Every little bit helps and many lives have been saved because of such selfless actions in the past. You are their heroes. Thanks!

Tomorrow’s Post: Slam Jam Session…

Last week’s honoree was Nancy Lanza, mother of the Sandy Hook shooter, Adam Lanza. Sadly, Nancy was the first victim in the shooting. I wonder if that was because she was desperately trying to stop her son from committing this terrible act or if Adam realized that she would intervene if he left the house with guns, etc. Either way I’m sure that Nancy felt great responsibility for what her son was about to do and thus, felt guilty.

This is every parent’s worst nightmare–that the choices we make or don’t make will produce a child who is capable of great harm to the community. The hardest job in the world is to parent and it is often a very thankless job. So, this week I decided to do something a little special for a young mom in my community who is doing her best to get it right. Since she is in the “active phase” of parenting and doing it on pretty much on her own, it’s easy to be stressed. And on those days in my own life it was nice to know some “veteran moms” understood completely what I was enduring. Their own acts of kindness often helped me hang in there. So, I hope my small act of kindness helps her, too. Just paying it forward!

How about you? What did you do to honor Nancy? Please let me know via the submission box below or via the Contact page that you participated. Right now we stand at 26 acts of kindness to date!

Today’s honoree is Jesse Lewis. Jesse was into horses, something that will probably sound familiar to the folks in my community, since I live in rodeo country. Here’s what CNN had to say about Jesse:

Jesse Lewis, 6

Tomorrow’s Post: A Look Back…

For those of you who follow the Word of the Week blog feature on Mondays, we’ve passed a small milestone. When I launched Word of the Week, I made a list of words I didn’t know all the way up to last week on a whiteboard in my writing office. We are now into a new list! Perhaps trivial to most, but significant to me. Thanks for giving all of your creative ideas for the definitions of each week’s word. So, on to the new list!

Last week’s Word of the Week was zarzuela. A zarzuela is a usually comic Spanish operetta. I don’t know about the Spanish operetta part, but it’s pretty comical when I’m typing zarzuela.

This week’s word is provenience. I think I should know this word, but if I do, it’s escaping me this morning. Any ideas? Submit them below. Here’s my take on what it might mean. No fair cheating!

provenience: (prə-ˈvē-nyən(t)s) 1. inconvenience 2. being fond of Venice 3. being fond of mothers intervening wherever needed

Tomorrow’s Post: What did you do in memory of Nancy Lanza?

While at the writer’s conference last week, a speaker said that no poems had been written about cheese to date. His point was that no one would read a poem about cheese. The speaker is probably right and honestly, I didn’t research poems to figure out if the speaker’s claim was correct. But, I am just stubborn enough to take such statements as a dare. So, in case the speaker’s claim was true, here’s my ode to cheese:

Asiago, American
Bleu and brie
Cheddar, Camembert
And Domiati.

Edam, Feta
Gouda, gruyere,
Havarti, Imsil
Jarlsberg all are there.

Kojack, Limberger, Mozzarella
Monterey Jack, Mascarpone,
Munster, Nacho, Olteranni
And good ol’ provolone.

Parmesan, pepperjack
Queto and Romano
Swiss, String,
Tandil and Urda.

Valdeon, Whitestone
And Xygalo
Yaraslavsky and
Zamora.

Whatever the occasion
Whatever the day,
There’s a cheese to imbibe
To take your bleus away.

Monday’s Post: Zarzuela anyone?

Warning: Get 2 of your favorite beverages first.

Remember how I dreaded the annual check-up with my internist and my dental adventure? Well, yesterday was the final “installment” in my exam trilogy: the “woman’s exam.” And while this exam is every woman’s annual nightmare, mine took place on a rare Texas spring day…I think. The weather more accurately represented a spring day in Chicago, with torrential downpours, bone-chilling winds and low temperatures. Here’s the “takeaway”  and plot synopsis from this year’s nightmare:

1. Don’t get dressed in the morning–it saves time when exposing various private parts to complete strangers.

2. If traffic is stopping in odd places while proceeding to the clinic, it may be because one is doing a modern-day rendition of Lady Godiva. See # 1.

3. There are actual decently close parking spaces at the clinic at 8:30 am. Of course, this was probably the one and only time I qualified for parking in the Nudist Colony reserved parking space.

4. Check-in with receptionist # 1. Well, maybe. Her computer is down and has to reboot. This, of course, is the one and only time she’s had to do that and of course, this is the one and only time I am a few minutes late already for appointment # 1.

5. Fill out same questionnaire I fill out every blessed year. How many pregnancies have you had? (Since I went through menopause in my mid-40s, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I won’t be getting preggers any time soon.) How many live births have you had? I prefer to be alive while giving birth. I guess I’m rather rare?

6. Address an envelope to myself for the mammogram results. Since I haven’t moved in over 20 years, would it really be that hard for them to address the envelope based on the voluminous info in my file? Their bills seem to address themselves and make it to my house just fine.

7. Disrobe top half of my body (You didn’t really think I did the Lady Godiva thing, did you?) and clean off deodorant just put on 30 minutes ago. Feel sorry for anyone who has to smell my armpits for the next few hours, except maybe for the technician who’s going to squish my chest soon. Mutter something incomprehensible about not remembering I can’t wear deodorant. And why does wearing deodorant offend mammogram machines??? Hmmm.

8. Try not to freak out when a total stranger moves my boobs all over the place. Thanks to previous such exams, they do move easier this time around. However, since they are smaller due to weight loss, the technician decides they’re not movable enough. *embarrassing sigh*

9. Wonder if I will be performing a belly dance later when she suggests that I stick things to my nipples.

10. Pray to God that she will get these little x-rays on the first “try.”

11. Re-robe for the first time.

12. Exit exam room and prepare to jaunt to the adjacent building for next demeaning exam. (Note: It’s kinda important not to mix up # 11 and # 12.)

13. Mutter something un-Christian when a cold, torrential downpour is between me and the adjacent building. Grr.

14. Run the 50 yard dash in Olympic record time. Drip a waterfall 0n immaculate waiting room floor # 2.

15. Check in with receptionist # 2. Note that she could do stand-up after her day job. Note that you are not amused.

16. Drip all over immaculate waiting room chairs.

17. Pull out next Slow Reader book. Search for one of 3 pairs of reading glasses in the bottomless pit (aka my purse).  Find 1 pair after removing everything in the pit.

18. Reload all of the above because they just called my name.

19. Get weighed. Try not to look at weight since I am still recovering from the 5-star dinner with the hubby the weekend before.

20. Answer the same questions I’ve answered for the last 20 years. Note that this will be a whole lot more fun when I get Alzheimer’s and can just make up the answers, so that they can freak out for once.

21. Disrobe bottom half of my body…Oh, who am I kidding? This is when I really resembled Lady Godiva. Note that all paper gowns are just pieces of shaped paper faking it. Most of my gowns come with buttons or a zipper. They probably paid extra for the fastener-less ones–a cost they’ll surely pass on to my bill, which they didn’t need me to address.

22. Try to fain confidence as I’m chatting with the doctor.

23. Let her feel me up in every conceivable private part and thank the Lord she’s a she.

24. Re-robe again.

25. Do 2nd 50 yard dash back to main clinic building. Get even wetter.

26. Drip all over main clinic’s building somewhat immaculate floor.

27. Return to mammogram locale and try not to have flashbacks.

28. Go to an exam room smaller than my bedroom closet and try to disrobe bottom half of my sopping wet clothing. I think this is how pretzels are made.

29. Lay down on yet another exam table and allow another x-ray machine to scan me, head to toe, for bone mass density. Wonder if amount of radiation I’m enduring today will kill me tomorrow.

30. Re-robe for the 3rd freaking time. Note that I’ve now tracked mud all over exam room floor. Perhaps they could use the time they’re not addressing envelopes to put in actual sidewalks between clinic buildings???

31. Exit x-ray area again. Try not to have 2 flashbacks.

32. Go to Doctor # 2’s area, check in with receptionist # 99 and ask why they aren’t in the other clinic building so I could drip all over them, too.

33. Sign my life away yet again and wait for allergy shot.

34. Repeat process in # 17 and # 18.

35. Disrobe upper half of my body yet again. Get shot with the world’s thickest allergy serum yet again. Wonder if pouring thicker-than-molasses-in-April serum will slow down the varmints in my back yard who like attacking my new lawn chairs. It sure slows me down.

36. Re-robe for the 99th time. Take ticket to receptionist # 100  and pay for the privilege of being naked all morning long.

37. Do the 50 yard dash to my car. Drip all over my car.

38. Come home. Let dog out. Take off all wet items. Re-apply deodorant since I’m now offending myself.

39. Crawl under bed covers. Try to reclaim a semblance of dignity. Fail miserably.

40. Take a nap and hope the nightmare doesn’t return…for at least another year.

Point to Ponder Challenge: Women–When is the last time you had your “woman’s exam”? Is it time to schedule one? Are you apprehensive about it? If so, find a trusted friend to go with you and celebrate overcoming your anxiety afterwards with a nice lunch or shopping trip. Men–Is there a special lady in your life? If so, when was the last time she took care of these exams? If you think it’s been too long, ask her when she last went. Encourage her to get it done if it’s time and tell her you’re only reminding her because you care about her well-being. And…are YOU up-to-date on any pertinent check-ups, scans and tests? If not, be brave and get it done! Why? Because I care about YOU!

Tomorrow’s Post: Cheese, please…

I have sometimes been compared with Erma Bombeck. No joke. I am so humbled by that mere thought. Another woman also understood what it was like to be compared to Erma. Her name was Barbara Johnson. I’ve had Ms. Johnson’s book, Laughter from Heaven, for ages and have just failed to read it. When I say I am a Slow Reader, I mean it.

If anyone had a reason not to laugh, it was Barbara Johnson. She lost her two sons, five years apart from each other. After she was diagnosed with brain cancer, her husband also was diagnosed and died shortly thereafter. In between she broke both of her arms and lost a tooth. She was also estranged from one of her remaining two sons. She was diabetic, too. But despite all of this adversity, Barbara chose to laugh and share the funny things she found with others.

Laughter from Heaven details these humorous findings. So much so that Facebook is now replete with them. And yet there is poignancy in her descriptions of her life during this phase. She humorously described how her wig would get stuck on the staples on her head from cancer surgery in one account. As I read this story, I could not help but think, “No one ever tells you that, when you get brain cancer, one of your biggest hassles will be getting your wig stuck to your bald head!” But, Barbara Johnson did and that frankness has made it easier for the rest of us to be real about our Christian lives.

I have had to do similar things, thanks to my lovely health adventures. Tomorrow I will be detailing yet one more visit to the doctor for routine check-ups. And I hope it makes you chuckle or smile. Because this is the stuff we just can’t get around some times. And so laughter and smiling and joy are the only ways to combat such sobering stuff. Indeed, they are the best weapons against letting the “monsters” win.

Sadly, Barbara lost her battle with cancer in 2007. And Erma Bombeck has also passed.

Guess that means just one thing. I need to do them proud.

Tomorrow’s Post: Caught with my pants down yet again…

Multnomah Waterfall

1. I will pack the kitchen sink for one weekend trip, but forget my toothbrush. Really? And I even made a packing list. *sigh*
2. Traveling with the PH is so much nicer than traveling alone. Why? Because he has Executive Platinum level benefits everywhere. Essentially, this means everything is bigger and faster. Kinda like Texas highways.
3. I can start and finish reading one book, complete 6 difficult Sudoku puzzles, do 1 Bible reading, ponder 1 Puritan Prayer reading, eat lunch, drink a can of diet Pepsi and a bottle of water, and take a pretty good nap all on a 4 hour flight.
4. My favorite SUV in the whole wide world is ready for rental, but the bargain price (even with Executive Platinum PH benefits) is only $ 75 more a day than the very comfy Nissan Altima we rented instead. (That’s a bargain? That’s a benefit? Hmmm…They apparently never met my garage-sale-shopping mother.)
5. On the way to the Christian university where the conference was held,one can visit 3 adult lounges and “Hemp City,” home of medicinal marijuana for all. We passed.
6. To make a right turn in Portland, one must go left, then left again, then veer left, then right, then turn left to ultimately turn right. I hope the civil engineer that designed Portland’s roads was not a Purdue grad. If so, I live in utter shame.
7. Really green grass does exist. It just doesn’t exist in Texas.
8. Azaleas do bloom. Trees do, too.
9. My home church praise band isn’t the only one that can rock out when “one or more are assembled in His name.”
10. Paul Young has ESP. He can read my soul as if it’s his own. He can read 200 other, different souls the same way.
11. Jesus poetry slams are da bomb.
12. Step away from the cookies. However, do drink the coffee. Portland is definitely in Starbucks country.
13. I understand, now, why the northwest brews such awesome coffee. The days are often cold, wet, humid and cloudy. A good cup of coffee is essential.
14. The 8 hours I spent learning more about Christian writing were probably the most intense I have ever experienced. And most of it had little to do with writing.
15. I am shy when around 250 fellow believers.
16. I am at home with 250 strangers, even if shy.
17. I am a self-publishing writer and not an agent/publisher kind of writer. At least not yet.
18. The best way to finish a conference? Visit the Columbia store and eat dinner at the top of the world. Even with clouds and fog, it’s a beautiful view and a wonderful meal.
19. The PH can get an awful lot done when he doesn’t have to work and he’s just waiting on his wife.
20. The best breakfast in town on Sunday morning is at the bottom of a waterfall.
21. The best after-breakfast workout is to climb to the top of the waterfall.
22. The PH goes faster up the mountain.
23. MaryAnn goes faster down the mountain.
24. Climbing one waterfall isn’t enough…at least not for the PH.
25. I have visions of Twilight dancing through my head when climbing waterfalls in Oregon.
26. I hate switchbacks, especially when there’s 11 of them between me and the top of a waterfall.
27. Oregon mileage is the same as 3-day walk mileage. Translation? The mileage estimates lie, particularly if the distance measured is vertical in nature.
28. I was proud of my climbing abilities until I saw a man twice my age climb the same waterfall, unassisted.
29. I was proud of my climbing abilities until I saw 3 people running up the mountain…with backpacks.
30. I used to think I was in shape. Back to the drawing board.
31. I can get up at 3:45 am. There is a 3:45 am.
32. My calves and thighs are killing me today.
33. I am blessed with a wonderful husband.
34. I am blessed to encounter wonderful writers who counsel me and answer a ridiculous sum of questions just because they serve a risen Lord.

Point to Ponder Challenge: When is the last time you tried something new? Time to “climb another mountain” in your life? May I pray for your success, endurance and courage?

Tomorrow’s Post: Staple-head…

Last week’s 26 Tuesdays honoree was Chase Kowalski. Chase wanted 2 front teeth for Christmas. Since I’m not a dentist or orthodontist, I don’t think I can do something to help someone get their two front teeth. Thankfully, Chase was already a triathlete at the tender age of 7. While I have completed a 3 day walk, I am the first to confess that I’m running-challenged for a variety of reasons. And being running-challenged, alone, would probably keep me from completing a triathlon.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by a plethora of people who have made running great distances a part of their lives. They inspire me since they are often running to support great causes, such as cancer research or heart disease prevention or feeding starving people in other countries.

There is so much more to running these events than just training and paying the entrance fee. Often, there is a fundraising minimum and inevitably, one is buying new running gear of some sort to replace the worn out stuff from training so hard. Then, there is the blister aid stuff, hydration beverages (while training) and nutrition measures needed. In some cases my friends and family are also traveling great distances to participate, incurring hotel, air, car and additional meal expenses.

Thus, I decided my act of kindness would be to offset some of these “unseen” expenses for my “other-centered” friends. After all, the good book encourages us to “finish the race” before us.”

Today’s honoree is Nancy Lanza. If her last name sounds familiar, there’s a reason. She was Adam Lanza’s mother and the very first victim of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I confess that I have mixed emotions about Ms. Lanza. On the one hand news reports describe her as a good mother who tried to get help for her son, Adam. On the other hand she encouraged her son to be around guns. While I do support the 2nd amendment, the counselor in me does feel that those who have really serious mental challenges should probably not be around guns.  But, I also don’t think that Ms. Lanza deserved being killed by her son for this possible lapse in judgment. All of us, as parents, fail at some aspect of parenting and I hope I never have to pay for my parenting lapses as Ms. Lanza did. My prayers are that we all work harder at being diligent parents and getting our children help when needed. Here is what CNN wrote about Ms. Lanza:

Nancy Lanza, 52

Last week’s word was vernissage. Vernissage is a private showing or preview of an art exhibition. Since I can almost draw a stick figure, I don’t think a vernissage will be in my future any time in the next millennium.

This week’s word is zarzuela. Type that on your keyboard once. Your left pinkie gets a workout. It’s like yoga for your left pinkie.

To reiterate for the 149th time, submit your guesses below or send me an email via the Contact page. The winner gets MIP points. What are MIP points? Good question. Can you redeem them for wonderful door prizes? You haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning, have you? Get another cup now and then read my equally sleepy attempts at a definition.

zarzuela: (ˌzär-zə-ˈwā-lə) 1. when a Russian czar has a baby with Consuela. (further evidence that I need more coffee) 2. when a bazaar goes “berzerk” from seeing a Russian czar with Consuela’s baby (“Hello, Bellevue? There’s a woman in Texas who needs a straight jacket stat.”) 3. a  bizarre yoga routine for arthritic left pinkie fingers.

Tomorrow’s Post: Have you done your act of kindness this week?