Archive for the ‘Maizie’s Musings’ Category

22
May

Maizie’s Musings: Lumps…

I’m getting lumpy. Seriously lumpy. I have lumps on my nose, my legs and my torso. This does not exactly make me jump for frisbees, folks.

One got so big that the Mom person made me go to the place where they often stick me. The people are nice enough…I’m just not wild about what goes on there. There are weird smells and I have to heel and I just want to get out of there as fast as I can before they can stick me again.

The last time I went I not only got “stuck,” but I had to spend an entire night there! It was the longest night of my life. There were all kinds of dogs there, barking and whining. We were all together in one big room and we had to eat weird dog food and drink weird water.

And I don’t even know how I got there. One minute they were sticking me and the next minute I was in that room with all the other dogs and I had a wowie-owie on my leg. They wouldn’t even let me lick it to make it feel better…it had this weird kind of meshy fur all around it.

11
May

Maizie’s Musings: New Water Bowl!

It’s been a long time since I played in the Big Water Bowl. Honestly, I had begun to wonder if I had done something wrong while there the last time. When the Mom person leaves with those ominous suitcases and bags, she gets angry if I hop in the back of the thing with the  round legs.

But, today I got to go with her and the Dad person both! And when I was whimpering, as usual, once we got inside the green metal gates, I noticed that there was a NEW big water bowl. I say, big only because my regular water bowls are very small by comparison.

However, this is a bit of a misnomer (Yes, I know the word misnomer, because I live with very brainy people.) since this big water bowl is much smaller than the old big water bowl. The new water bowl is in front of the gray house with the big back porch (great for naps on a warm afternoon, by the way) instead of near the big back porch.

09
May

Maizie’s Musings: Weird Dog Treats…

When I’m very, very, very good, the Mom person or the Dad person give me the special treats that sit on top of the big gray box in the cold floor area of the house. The cold floor area of the house has a lot of my favorite things—like all kinds of meat, cheese, and crispy things. The meat and cheese hang out in the big gray box, so I know EXACTLY where those special treats are.

I only get the special treats on really special occasions like when I let the Dad person work on my toe nails. He gets this whirring thing and grinds my poor nails down to a pulp. I’ve heard of human pedicures and I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why humans get pedicures. Working on my nails unnerves me so much that the Mom person has me flip on my back and then she holds me tightly in one place by straddling me with her legs and holding my other paws.

18
Mar

Maizie’s Musings: 10…

I complained to the Mom person about not being allowed on her laptop. She said I wasn’t allowed on it because I shed too much and she’s writing yet another paper for some certification she’s working on. (PLEASE–do not give her any other ideas about getting more certifications…whatever those are…I don’t get my head scratched nearly as much when she’s getting one.)

The only papers I have ever cared about were the ones they let me use when I was a pup. Even then, I was sequestered to the cold tile floors of the house. NOT my idea of fun. I used to pout about it, but it never seemed to get me released from paper-and-tile-land. They did let me on a warmer floor when they realized I had chewed all the furniture legs in paper-and-tile-land.

But, according to some other papers (According to the Mom person, these papers cost a lot of money and have something to do with a Kennel Association. I don’t get how dog kennels get together or even why they get together, but apparently these kennels have a lot to talk about.) I am about to have a rather monumental birthday.

04
Nov

Maizie’s Musings: Birthdays

 According to the mom person everyone, including me, has a birthday. I’m not exactly sure what a birthday is, but I know that it’s an actual day and that on mine, I get an extra big bone to chew. Thus, I have concluded that birthdays are a good thing. I just wish they happened more frequently.

The mom person also said that the older mom person is having a big birthday celebration today. For those of you who don’t know, the older mom person and her mate come to my home every time the weather gets really cold. She does a lot of the same things that the mom person does, but she does them slower.

I’m not sure why she does them slower, but my theory is that the more gray fur one has on his or her head, the slower that person moves. That must be because the gray fur weighs more. I’m pretty sure this is true, because I’m moving slower, too and the mom person says I have some gray fur as well. However, I’m not sure I always get the straight scoop from the mom person.

The gray fur must make your joints hurt. I don’t really like gray fur for that reason.

I don’t understand celebrations, but I know it means that there are lots of people show up and there are usually good table scraps at celebrations. Therefore, I am pro-celebration.

I really like the older mom person. She understands me.

If the mom or dad person are not around, she makes sure I get to go out whenever I want (Roughly 10 times a day is optimal.), and she makes sure I have food and water in my bowls. She sits for long periods of time and that allows for maximum head scratching and petting and one can never have too many head scratches or people stroking my fur.

She must sit more often because the gray fur is getting too heavy.

Since she seems to smile whenever I appear, I told the mom person that I should go to the big birthday celebration. I even told her I would bring my biggest bone as a present for her.

But the mom person said no. (By the way, I’m anti-no.)

I told her I could just get in her lab-sized suitcase, but she said she needed that space for her fur coverings. She sure needs a lot of fur coverings, too. Why do people need that many? I only need one. Mine works for every occasion, even for celebrations.

So, older mom person? If you’re reading this, Happy Big Birthday Celebration.

I’ll have to mail you the bone.

You May Also Like: Maizie’s Musings: Road TripsMaizie’s Musings: Hopping Invaders; and Maizie’s Musings: My Playmates???

19
Aug

Maizie’s Musings: Road Trip…

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The mom person wouldn’t let me on her laptop last week. She even took it with her while she was gone for a long time just to make sure I didn’t type anything on it.

I don’t know why. She’s just weird.

Because of her weirdness, I was forced to wait until now to tell you about my road trip in the thing with the round paws. We were in it for a really long time and the mom and dad person went with me. I had fun looking out the windows, but the mom and dad person wouldn’t open the top thing so I could put my head out and really survey everything.

Because of their lack of cooperation, I took a long nap out of sheer boredom. But a couple of times the mom and dad person gave me treats from a bag they got from people hanging out a window. Shhhh….don’t tell the animal doctor.