Pumpkins

I, like many of you, have engaged in expressing my thankfulness for various aspects of my life. While I will probably do the same this Thanksgiving as my family gathers around that all-important turkey, I do find myself wishing I could be thankful for other things in the coming year. Some are simply sarcastic; some are serious. What would you add to this list?

1. That Congress and the White House remind themselves that they are paid, elected servants of the people of this country and will actually work together to accomplish some good things for Americans who want nothing more than to be self-sufficient.

2. That Ebola will be eradicated around the world.

3. That those protesting the unfair treatment of various races and nationalities will remember the concept of peaceful protest constructed by Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

4. That all countries will respect other countries’ borders and only enter and exit them legally.

5. That more and more of us will be prompted to eradicate the hunger and thirst of the thousands of people who die in Africa, every single day, as a result of extreme poverty and a lack of knowledge and supplies to take care of this on their own.

6. That my kids’ stuff will actually leave home with them.

7. That more people emulate Jesus‘ actions. I don’t care if you’re Christian or not; believe in Him or not. The Man set a wonderful example of how we should treat each other.

8. That I will run my first official race this year. If you’re expecting me to do the Ironman Triathlon this year, your expectations are going to be thrown to the ground and stomped on unceremoniously. Can we call the snail pace I run on my treadmill running???

9. That I will stay out of hospitals. It’s not that I’m adverse to visiting them; it’s when I take up residency there that I wish for a trip to Tahiti. I am getting way too familiar with hospital cafeteria menus and when to arrive in hospital parking lots to get the spot closest to the entrance.

10. That hurting people near us will come to Compassion Counseling Center for help.

11. That people/organizations will donate to Compassion Counseling Center so that we can produce simple brochures, business cards and flyers to let people know we are here to help. So far, that has not happened.Better yet, that people and organizations in our communities will spread the word about Compassion without us having to spending a dime for such materials.

12. That 2015 will bring great joy for my family and friends. Many of my friends have children getting married and having babies in 2015. What a wonderful way to continue the world.

13. That MaryAnn will get back to actually writing her book. Note to self: Locate rough draft.

14. That those who are sad, for whatever reason, will know that people care about them.

15. That I have the ability to give myself my own allergy shots and can travel with my hubby.

16. That the Texas Rangers will be injury-free. If this happens, get smelling salts for the DSL, his wife and half of Texas.

17. That the Backpack Buddies program in our community will be fully funded so that we can feed all food-insecure children in our community. A quarter a day keeps the “hungries” away.

18. That celebrities and professional athletes will take responsibility for their irresponsible and dangerous behavior. I’m severely tired of them hiding bad behavior and making excuses for it. Send that memo to politicians, too.

19. That I will learn patience. Yesterday.

20. That the last year of Women of Faith conferences will lead to bigger and better things and that God will select the people who will accompany me to this last conference in October 2015.

21. That our own little community and one even smaller community to the southwest of us will both win state championships in football. Both teams are stellar examples of what teenagers can accomplish when people believe in them. Pride about that successful school team often translates into success in the classroom and in other extracurricular pursuits.

22. That my children will be successful at their pursuits and be happy and healthy. They deserve such success. I am so proud to say that I miraculously got to be their mother or play at least a small role in their lives (Yes, my dear DSL, that includes you.)

23. That my hubby will continue to enjoy success in his career and be healthy. Why? Because he’s supporting all of the crazy causes and interests of his silly wife at the moment.

24. That my Thanksgiving dinners (Yes, plural) will be calorie-free. (A girl can hope.)

25. That chocolate will be calorie-free. (I’m sensing a theme here.)

26. That I will become a better Bible Study leader. (Given the little project described in # 11, this may take a miracle along the lines of the parting of the Red Sea.)

27. That our marriage makes it to anniversary # 33 and that we make it to “double-nickels” this year. Gray hairs, wrinkles, reading glasses, stubborn cellulite and arthritis are a victory dance. Given the arthritis, probably a slow victory dance.

28. That God will bless our church. Our church pretty much accepts people as they are and has a huge heart. They deserve to have a financially struggle-free year.

29. That I read my Bible every day, regardless of my ever-changing health, my sometimes-lousy attitude, and overly-long to do list.

30. That you and yours will also have much to be thankful for this year and the next. Your loyalty to this blog does not go unnoticed or unappreciated at this end. You are my energy, my enthusiasm and my inspiration when I write.

What do you hope to be thankful for in 2015? Comment below!

Friday’s Post: My Favorite Things Returns!

You Might Also Like: Lessons Learned from Starting a Nonprofit Counseling Center and Lessons I Probably Shouldn’t Have Learned at Women of Faith

The Amber Necklace I Received from Healing Hazel

New bloggers, like myself, endeavor to get their blogs noticed by reputable entities, such as publishers. However, since there are only so many publishers out there and so many bloggers, it’s difficult for a new blogger to gain the attention of a publisher, particularly if their blog has only a few email subscribers, Facebook Likes and Twitter Followers. Thus, many new bloggers hope and pray for some “sign from the Heavens”  that their writing is worthy of attention. That first sign often comes in a request for a product review.

Several weeks ago that “sign from the Heavens” finally came for MIP. I was contacted by Sophie Langlois at Healing Hazel, to review one of Healing Hazel’s amber necklaces. I am honored and humbled to do that for them. I received a very attractive all-amber necklace the next week in the mail. I have been wearing the necklace daily for approximately a week now.

Warning: War & Peace was shorter.

If you’re hoping for a book review or book announcement or something humorous from me today, you came to the wrong blog. Sorry! But, as I said on Wednesday, I’m still in my grief fog. Thus, I’d like to do something productive with it, so here goes:

The reality is that even though many, many types of cancer are now virtually curable, there are some other forms of cancer that still are, basically, a death sentence for its victims upon diagnosis. Yes, a death sentence.

Now, I want to be absolutely emphatic about a few things before I launch into specifics:

1. ANY battle with cancer requires tremendous courage on the part of the patient, curable or not. Even for these cancers, our treatments for them are still barbaric, if you ask me. We either chop off a part of your body, nuke it, or poison it. In many cases the treatment plan includes all three. NBC News just did a report last night on how chemo may not be a wise treatment for many breast cancer patients because of its long-term psychological, physical and economic ramifications. Thank goodness–for breast cancer patients, there ARE other alternatives, in many cases.

2. I am not bringing this to your attention because of what happened to my brother. I’m bringing it to your attention so that you can make better decisions about how you participate in the solution to these deadly cancers. In fact, esophageal cancer has a better rate of survival than several others. If you ask me, the ones more deadly than esophageal cancer need to be addressed first.

3. Don’t assume that you can target your donations to a cancer research or fundraising organization for the most deadly cancers. I checked on this for the most known cancer organization in the U.S.—you can’t.

Now, with that being said, here’s what I know and have learned:

1. Cancer is about to become an epidemic in this country in a few short years. When I would tell people about my brother, most people’s responses were: “Geez. Everyone I know seems to have cancer.” And they are right to feel that way. If it hasn’t touched your immediate family yet, consider yourself one of the fortunate few.

2. We still know very little about what agents in our universe cause cancer. Even if we do know, we seldom alert the public about it enough for anyone to change their lifestyle to limit their risk. For instance, did you know that drinking alcohol is a risk factor for esophageal cancer? My brother quit drinking cold turkey the day he learned that. Too bad he didn’t learn it sooner.

3. Deadly cancers are deadly cancers because there is far less money donated to these cancers than others.  The reason why that’s so is because we, as a society, decided that these more curable cancers, at one time, were so deadly and killed so many people that we had to attack them with a vengeance. I agree with that philosophy and I am thankful that I’ve been able to enjoy the presence of so many of my family and friends because of that philosophy.

4. When less money is donated to a particular type of cancer, that means fewer scientists want to research ways to treat it. This isn’t mean or greedy on their parts–they need to pay the bills, too! If you’re being paid through a research grant, you have to research whatever the grant wants you to research!

5. When fewer scientists work on a particular type of cancer, there are fewer odds they will find innovative ways to fight it. Let’s be honest–the more brainiacs we have working on a kind of cancer, the greater the odds something brilliant will happen to find a great treatment.

6. When there are fewer ways to fight it and diagnose it early, then the chance of you dying upon diagnosis is much, much higher. Why? Stage IV cancers are much more complicated to fight. This is, largely, what happened to my brother. In esophageal cancer there isn’t even a Stage IV because you’re dead before it’s diagnosed!

7.  Even if diagnosed early, fewer treatment methods mean fewer chances for remission. Even if you go into remission, the chances are far greater it will return for deadly cancers.

So, which cancer is the most deadly? Here’s the top 5 and their mortality rates:

1. Pancreatic cancer – 94%.

2. Liver cancer – 83.9%.

3. Lung cancer – 83.4% and it still claims the most lives every year.

4. My infamous buddy–esophageal cancer – 82.7%.

5. Stomach cancer – 72.3%.

Notice anything about the top 5? 4 have to do with digestion. Think about that for a moment. If you get cancer in your digestive tract, isn’t that going to lessen your chances for survival? Uh. Yeah. Because you can’t get proper nutrition while you’re enduring this barbaric way we currently treat cancer! And that’s exactly when your body needs the most nutritional help!

My brother’s tumor was located at the junction where his esophagus meets his stomach. The tumor so blocked the stomach that he couldn’t even swallow his own saliva. And if chemo made him nauseous, things didn’t go the other way, either. Gross, but true.

Now, let’s look at the highest funded cancers for research per the National Cancer Institute:

1. Breast Cancer.

2. Lung cancer.

3. Prostate cancer.

4. Colo-rectal cancer.

5. Leukemia.

What does that mean for our Top 5 Deadliest Cancers? They are not as likely to find cures as quickly. Now, since lung cancer takes the most victims, I am very, very thankful it’s # 2 on the funded list. And I’ll agree that we need to throw money at leukemia, too. Why? It’s # 8.

Want to know where breast cancer, prostate cancer, colo-rectal cancer and leukemia fall on the deadliest cancer list? Here’s the most curable cancers:

1. Prostate Cancer

2. Thyroid cancer

3. Skin Cancer.

4. Breast Cancer

5. Uterine Cancer.

Want to know where the deadly cancers rank for funding levels? Pancreatic cancer is # 10. Liver cancer is # 12. Esophageal cancer is # 19. Stomach cancer is # 28.

When I was a kid, breast cancer was definitely a death sentence. But because of the Susan G. Komen model, it now has an overall survival rate of 89.2%. Stage 1 breast cancer is at 98%! Here’s even more good news: There are Stage IV survivors who have survived for 2 decades! When I was walking the 3 Day for Susan G. Komen in 2009, they announced that the Komen organization had been responsible for nearly all of the great advances in breast cancer research over the last 30 years. They seem to know who to fund, don’t they? That Komen model works!  My suggestion? We need to replicate it for those deadly cancers. And fast…before that cancer epidemic.

And, I think we need to be smart about taking care of our bodies and knowing what cancers are in our family history. And we should “choose wisely” when sending in our cancer donations.

When I realized that you couldn’t target donations to a well-known general cancer organization and realized that my brother was going to die, I decided to look for an organization that targeted funding towards esophageal cancer for those who wanted to send a donation in his memory. I found one that’s working on genomic testing for esophageal cancer. Genomic testing could lead to earlier diagnosis and thus, better survival rates. This organization is quite young, but it’s very well organized and pretty creative about fund-raising.

If you, like me, wonder how much of your donation goes to actual research, you can check out your favorite cancer organization at charitynavigator.org. Look for cancer charities with a 4-star rating. A 3 star rating is also good. But, if it has less than 3 stars, please consider giving to an organization truly worth your hard-earned money or asking that charity to take the necessary steps to earn a 3 or 4 star rating. Or suggest that they take a page from the Komen model and find ways to get that money where it most needs to go.

Why? You and your family may be the very beneficiaries of that.  And here’s a thought: Most of us can spare a dollar a day without really suffering. If we did that every day for a year, each of us would have  $ 365 that could be spent on cancer research. If just half of the U.S. did that this year, we would raise over $ 58 billion dollars for cancer research. Let that marinate in your vast brain for a while and then go make me proud.

Monday’s Post: The return of WOW!!!!!!! Can I get an Amen?

You might also like: Why I Stopped Writing, Another Kind of WOW, A Real Scare, and Lessons Learned from the 2009 Breast Cancer 3 Day

Warning! Grab 2 of your favorite beverages first. And maybe a box of tissues.

Have you missed me? I’ve missed you! It’s time to get back to what fuels “my fire” and to once again, do “self-therapy” through writing. Honestly, that pretty much sums up the majority of what I write—my way of trying to fight through the “darkness” that life can sometimes bring and still come out on the other side to find joy and blessing.

So, what kept me from writing for so long? On December 11th of last year, just as I was getting over not having to give myself stomach shots anymore and not having to let the vampires suck me dry for blood tests, my older brother sent me a text message. We are not what I would call “frequent texters” even though we live a mere two hours from each other. So, imagine my shock when my normally very healthy brother sent me this: “Apparently, it’s my turn now. Being admitted to hospital. Will need a transfusion and they’re trying to figure out why. Probably related to stomach problems. Tell you more as I learn more. Looks like a one day stay at this point.”

At Thanksgiving, my brother had complained that, for the last few months, he was having to eat more slowly and avoid “thicker” foods. He wasn’t complaining because he was losing weight—something he had been struggling to do for several years. We just thought it was an “aging problem.” My brother lives alone and has no family of his own, so since I am his closest relative, I knew my assistance might be needed if he didn’t get out of the hospital after 1 day.

The next day I got an even more shocking text: “They found cancer; cut some out and sent for biopsy; chest & stomach CT scan this PM; oncologist on board & will see me tomorrow with a game plan.” Noooooooooooooooo. This can’t be happening—my brother was just pronounced absolutely healthy by his doctor in late summer.

My life changed instantly. It went from amateur-aspiring-writer-mom-volunteer to caretaker. It also changed for our oldest brother, who had recently retired in Louisiana, and also had no family of his own. We knew we were my brother’s only “back-up” crew. We flew into action as our family typically does. My children helped when they could, despite really busy schedules. The world seemed to pray for him.

The next few months were cram-filled with a myriad of doctor’s consultations (so many that I lost track of all the doctors he saw), tests, nurses (such a new fixture in his life that I became good friends with a fair number of them), technicians, drugs (so potent that special kits and gowns are packaged with them to prevent them from getting anywhere other than where they needed to go), and…sheer and utter panic.

My researcher nature and past history with other cancer-afflicted friends has taught me where to go to find reliable information on the various kinds of cancer. My brother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, one of the few cancers that still has a high “death rate.” Even if my brother fought valiantly and managed to survive the treatment (no small feat—trust me!), he probably was not going to live to see 70 (He was already 63.). The panic physically surfaced with this realization and I had to up my dosages on several of my heart medications, as a result.

After a series of complications (and I have the most detail-oriented, instruction-following brother on the planet) beyond my brother’s control and ridiculous amounts of pain and discomfort, the brother who fought with everything within him finally said, “I’m done” in late February. I found this out through my other brother in a tearful phone call. Again, I was shocked. This can’t be over this fast. My eldest brother asked me to come back to the hospital the next day and help him with making arrangements for hospice care. I did so and became extremely angry with the doctors caring for him. It was so obvious to me that my brother couldn’t fight this anymore and was extremely fatigued and yet, doctor after doctor insisted on trying to talk him out of his decision. While I didn’t want to lose my brother, I also didn’t want to see him suffer any more than was absolutely necessary. They were prolonging his misery! Despite his fatigue and pain, he asked intelligent questions to rule out any possible avenue that could lead to a faster, fairly positive result. But, each time he posed a different scenario than what the doctors had already proposed in December, he was told that wasn’t possible. So, he kept insisting that his decision to quit treatment was final. At one point he said, “It’s time for me and my family to move on.” While he waged a verbal war with them, my eldest brother and I visited two hospice facilities on nearly opposite sides of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex in a matter of a few hours, despite rush hour traffic and a wide array of DFW highway construction zones.

The first place did not impress us at all—it was dirty, had an annoying alarm on the entrance door every time it opened and was housed in an assisted living facility. The second was housed in an older section of a very clean hospital. The staff there were friendly, patient and quiet as they showed us around. There was a gentleman quietly playing acoustic guitar in the hallway. Since our brother used to dispel his stress levels with playing acoustic guitar and was quite entertaining to hear when he brought said guitar to family events and get-togethers, we knew this was God telling us where he was supposed to spend his final days on earth.

Within a matter of 24 hours, he was there. Hallelujah! The hospice staff quickly addressed all of his discomfort and he finally was able to rest many hours of the day without incessant interruptions from doctors, nurses, vampires, technicians, custodial staff and nutrition personnel. Being the executor for our parents and one of our aunts, my weak brother, the eternal accountant, began dictating how to get into his computer and personal files so that my eldest brother could pay his household bills and take care of settling the estate, giving numerous pointers along the way, to save us time, money and headaches as we did so. As part of his “dictation,” he had decided to sell his car to my husband and me to use as a car for our youngest son. I hesitated to bring him the title to sign over, thinking it was barbaric on my part and so, I reiterated that if he didn’t want to do it, it was okay.

He quietly reached for the title, reached for the pen in my hand, and shakily signed the title without any hesitation. When I wondered if he was really coherent enough (from all of the painkillers) to make such a decision, he quickly asked, “Did you find the folder in my office with all of the information about the car?” I nodded and then he drifted off to sleep again. Then I shook my head—only my brother would think to ask about whether or not I had found the folder with every auto-related transaction neatly and orderly filed, along with instruction manuals and warranties for said car. His question was my confirmation that he knew exactly what he was doing.

As friend after friend called to check on him (He asked for no visitors.), I was greeted by loud, never-ending sobs at the other end of the phone. But, I wasn’t surprised. What my brother had done for my youngest son was just one of many examples of what he did for others on a regular basis in his life.

A few days later, his tongue swollen, he barely whispered, “I’m trying to do this fast.” My brother and I reassured him he was “doing it” just fine. He nodded his head. A few days after that, his gaze no longer showed that he recognized my brother and me. But yet, he kept looking at us with his enormous blue eyes. One night as he stared at me with those eyes, I managed to eke out, “If you want to go, it’s okay. We will be okay. Just go towards the light, or the angels you see, or Mom and Dad, and go. We’ll be all right.” I nearly choked on the words, but knew, based on watching my dad die, that those might be the words he needed to end his suffering. What happened next scared the tar out of my brother and me. He didn’t take a breath for another 10 seconds. How do I know? I counted. It scared me that much. He kept doing that and my brother reiterated what I had said. But, even though we lingered by his bedside for quite a while, he kept breathing just enough to keep himself alive. We finally told him good night and left.

The next day the phone rang at my brother’s house around noon. My oldest brother answered it and I could tell it wasn’t good news. He hung up the phone and said, “He’s gone.”

The time from that moment until now, has been one long, continuous blur of cleaning out his house, sending back medical equipment that went unused, writing a eulogy of his life, meeting with family and friends, crying and settling his affairs. It often feels as if I am existing in a very surreal fog. The fog will, hopefully, clear after this coming Monday when my brother closes on our brother’s home. But, having walked down this path too many times in recent years, I know it probably won’t. It may cease and desist for a few moments or even days or even weeks, but it will still be there. For a long time.

And that’s what made it difficult to write for the past few months. And why, even though I have missed you, dear readers, I still find it difficult. So, I hope you will allow me to “wallow” in the fog for a little while–once again, doing my “self-therapy” through this blog. You are most likely going to hear about the facts regarding esophageal cancer and other cancers that have an awful prognosis for its victims and why.

You are going to hear about the funny moments (Because my family handles stress best by poking fun at it!) and yes, there were plenty of those. And if requested (and only if requested through your comments below), my eulogy, in its entirety. I’ve done three now, so I’m starting to become an expert on writing and delivering them (Some family members have already booked me for theirs….I guess that means I’m good at it???). Can you put “professional eulogist” on a resume??? Hmmm…

But, have no fear, my normal brand of insanity and silliness will be back before long. Because…there is still joy and blessing in my life. I love you, big brother! See you on “the flip side.”

Friday’s Post: We’re still losing this war…

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treadmill

Book Club Members: I can’t seem to put down Killing Jesus. How about you?

I, like many of my friends and family, have made New Year’s resolutions in the past. Some I am successful at keeping and others I am not. When I closely examine the ones I’ve kept, I have noticed a pretty strong pattern. I do certain things that allow me to gain ground on a bad habit of mine. Hopefully someday, I will manage to apply this pattern to all areas of my life. In the hopes of being helpful to others who may struggle to eradicate bad habits and to establish good habits in their stead, I will share the pattern that seems to work.

Thing # 1:

Break that resolution down into tiny, manageable steps. 

Many of us make lofty goals (resolutions) and fail to break them down into steps that we can easily handle over time. Why would I assume that I could drastically change several areas of my life at once? It took time to develop those nasty habits and it would now require time to replace them with good habits. There is no more place more evident of this part of the pattern than when I decided I had to undo the damage of bad eating and exercise habits. I, like many people, failed miserably at taking off excess weight until the day when I finally made a list of small changes I could take on, one at a time:

A. Eat on smaller plates and from smaller bowls.

B. Drink more water.

C. Brush my teeth more often (Consumption of food never tastes great after doing this!).

D. Re-organize my pantry so that the healthy snacks and foods are right in front of me when I open the door.

E. Re-organize my refrigerator so that the healthy snacks and foods are in front of me.

F. Figure out what eating plan works with my particular personality and other habits and living style.

G. Get a treadmill.

H. Walk 10 minutes on a treadmill.

I. Make a list of healthy foods that I usually enjoy eating.

J. Gradually replace unhealthy foods and snacks with better ones.

After making the above list, I looked at which one would be the easiest for me to make a part of my life. Obviously, some must come after others. For instance, if I’m going to walk on a treadmill, I probably need to buy one first! I started with figuring out what kind of eating plan works best with my personality. It took me a full month to figure that out! But by the end of the month, I figured out that I needed to “automate” my eating by using pre-portioned low calorie foods. I don’t enjoy cooking, except during the holidays and I am often alone when eating, so making huge meals for 6 people seemed a bad fit for me. I also hate counting points and calories, so that pretty much excluded Weight Watchers or any other plan based on such a premise.

I’m also a cheapskate and often fail to remember to re-order things on a timely basis, so using Nutri-system, Jenny Craig or another similar service seemed frivolous and not easily worked into my life. I finally decided to do my own version of such a system by purchasing Lean Cuisines to eat twice a day. I also allow myself to consume my favorite in-season fruits for snacks and have some popcorn once in a while. I also like Atkins Endulge bars when a chocolate attack hits.

By the end of Month 1, I had already transitioned to this way of eating. May you find success in breaking down your first resolution into something manageable and easy.

Point to Ponder: How could you break down a resolution for 2014 into several manageable steps? Do that now. 🙂 After you’ve had 24 hours to think about those steps, pick one that seems the easiest or the first thing that has to be done to move towards completion of the resolution. Start working on that easiest/first thing before next Wednesday. Share your success with MIP readers so you can help others, too.

Monday’s Post: What does styptic mean?

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If you read my post from last Wednesday, then you know I’m in the midst of revealing my 12 favorite posts from this past year which most likely will not make it into the Top 10 or Top 12 of what all of my readers viewed most frequently. Why 12? Because I adore the Christmas song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Thus, this is my little tribute to that illusive bird known as the partridge. Seriously, how many of you have actually seen a partridge???

These posts all missed the top 12 in viewership by a “hair.” May I conclude that you still liked them? Just not as much as the Top 10 or 12 (which I will reveal in January)? I hope so.  Here are # 10 and # 9 and why I consider them my favorites.

Number 10:

“Because I Want to Be with You…”

When I started MIP I wasn’t sure I wanted my Christian viewpoint to take “center stage” in what I posted. But, little by little, God worked on my heart and I realized the whole point of my writing is to work on building a closer relationship with Him. While not every post will be evident of this, a great many of them reveal just how blessed I feel to have Him in my life. This post recounts the beginning of the realization that it was okay to be publicly open about my Christianity, despite an increasingly secular world viewpoint. I debated, for a long, long time whether or not to post this story because it makes me sound crazy and because I hope to fictionally include it in my first book. But, finally, I just couldn’t stand not sharing it, much like Jeremiah just couldn’t stop prophesying. Click here to either review that story or to read it for the first time!

Number 9: 

Lessons Learned from a Routine Examination…

This post is probably the total reverse of the tone of # 10! Because of my health adventures, I have to endure a lot of examinations and hospitalizations. The medical community’s major mistake is to actually make a writer wait for such stuff. It gives me entirely too much time to construct my next posts about the embarrassing and silly things doctors and nurses ask one to endure to take care of health issues. Yes, some of this is definitely fictionalized, but it is oh, so based on actual reality. Click here to laugh again or to get your first insight into the nonsense that is my life.

Monday’s Post: Do you fard? (I beg your pardon!)

You might also like: The 12 Days of MIP: 12 & 11; The Odd Days of December; and Don’t Need Any More Stuff This Christmas? How About This?

I have always loved the song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and once upon a time, our family used to gather around the kitchen table, draw numbers out of a bowl and sing the appropriate verse of this song as dictated by the number drawn. It was fun to see my tone-deaf hubby belt out, with great relish, “Five golden rings” in a truly disharmonious way and to see the lovely tones of my mother’s voice delayed because she was having too much fun listening to her 3 grandchildren sing their verses and forgot to sing her own verse!

You might have easily guessed that I have an affection for this song simply because that darn partridge often manages to infiltrate my blog posts. I don’t know exactly how that happens, but apparently, that partridge thinks there is bird seed somewhere near my laptop. Either that or a pear tree limb.

Since the end of January will be the 1 year anniversary of “birthing” this web site, I decided to take a look at the posts that seem to hold your attention the most. The results are interesting and not exactly what I thought they would be. Some are there for some really weird reasons, which will be discussed in January.

In the meantime I decided to bring back my 12 most favorite posts of the year that don’t appear in the “Top 12” most viewed posts (I promise to reveal those to you in January.). This gives you an opportunity to catch up on posts you may have missed and to re-read ones you also liked. If you don’t care to re-read them, I will understand–I know most of you are very busy in December. But I promise to tell you why each is a favorite of mine.

I will reveal two per post in reverse order, based on how popular they have been with you, so without further adieu, I present # 12:

A Real Scare…

Honestly, I didn’t know how this one would be received. It was pretty risky to even throw it out there, in my humble opinion, particularly since I had run on and on about Pinktober and contributing to breast cancer ad nauseam practically the entire month of October. It was also risky because many of my family members and close friends didn’t even know this was my reality until after I had the results of my 3rd mammogram in less than 6 months and posted the results in this piece.

Amazingly, two of my friends came “out of the closet” when this post went public and told me they had just been diagnosed with Stage II and they were telling me before they told a lot of people who, honestly, probably should have known before me. I am so proud of them both–they are fighting tooth and nail and I expect both of them to conquer this insidious disease. I am so honored that they chose to share something this personal with little old me. They are teaching me loads of things in the process–things that will probably help others one day should anyone else ever choose to confide in me.

So, if you care to see why this post meant something to them…and to me, click here.

Number 11:

20 Seconds of Courage…Why Not? 

I often miss “the point” of movies. My random mind often goes off in tangents that no one else’s does. When I first watched what could honestly be dubbed a “kids movie,” I thought it was quaint, but nothing special. Then, I saw it again on one of my own movie channels and new “messages” suddenly jumped out at me from this very quaint movie. The result? Putting a few of those messages together in a post that others chose to share with their Facebook friends. Occasionally, I am actually proud of my writing (Trust me–I seldom feel this way!) and this would be one of those rare times. Click here to read the “messages” one kids movie managed to send that random mind of mine.

Friday’s Post: The 12 Days of MIP: 10 & 9…

You may also like: The “Type” Meets “Perfection”, The Odd Days of December, Adages That Have Proven True Now That I’m Decrepit, and The Odd Days of November

Because of the recent new interest in my blog, I’m getting some questions from folks about how to access it and whether or not it’s okay to share my stuff with others, etc. A mentor of mine told me she has trouble finding my blog site because MIP is not a part of some massive blog site such as Blogger. Why?:

1. I decided to create my own site at the recommendation of the DSL who suggested I take ownership of my writing. To take ownership means that I need “creative control” of how things are structured or said in my blog. I can’t completely do that when subjecting it to a format controlled by a mega-blog site.
2. Another reason to do this is to keep any future ads (should I ever get this lucky!) from becoming annoying to my readers. I also want to guard my readers’ privacy and by having control of my site, I have the ability to do that (at least more than I would otherwise.).

So, how do you find me, since I’m not on such a site?

1. I have a Facebook professional page, known as Maryann In Progress, which regularly updates “Likers” as to when a new post is up on this site.  If a reader is only “Friends” with me on my personal Facebook page, I may or may not reference new posts there, simply because a direct reference is against Facebook policy.
2. Can’t remember the name of this site or my professional page? No worries! Just go to my personal page on Facebook and look on the left side of my page. There you will see (in the About section) that I’m a Writer/Blogger at Maryann In Progress.  And yes, clicking on it will take you to the professional page!
3. You “follow” instead of “liking” on Twitter? Yep—I’m there, too. It’s listed under “MaryAnn R. Arnold.”
4. Don’t do either of these? I am working on getting my posts to other social media sites, but this is a learning process for me, so bear with me. Right now my project is to learn Tumblr and by the end of today, I will have 3 posts on Tumblr. I probably will limit my posts there to the “Best of MIP”—fair warning! Some of these sites don’t support blogs very well (such as Pinterest) right now, so it may be a while before you see many of my posts on these sites.
5. Prefer not to be involved with any social media site? Go directly to this web site and subscribe to the email list on the right side of the posts. New posts will get sent to your favorite email account directly.  This is how my husband knows about my latest posts and he even accesses it on his smartphone. I do not send you any junk mail through this service. In fact I seldom look at who is and is not on my email list on purpose! Thankfully, the DSL has constructed a way for this to happen that makes it really easy for me to ignore!
6. Don’t want emails clogging your inbox? Just throw this search term in Google: “MaryAnn Arnold blog” Yep, that’s right. Google is finally figuring out that I write a blog. If you go to any of the first few links from this search, you’ll see the web address of my blog. And yes, this has been a goal of mine. So getting to it by searching on Google actually makes me happy, happy. (Duck Dynasty would be so proud.) Is it completely easy to get there from the search term? No, not yet. Still working on this and a lot of that is beyond my control!

Is it okay to ‘share” my posts on Facebook or Twitter or wherever? Absolutely. Fire away! Go for it. Again, this makes me happy, happy.  All I ask is that you remind folks “All rights reserved” by moi when you post. I do hope that what I write is something that resonates with others or is entertaining or helpful for others. So, please do share, like, and tweet whenever you want.

Who sees comments?  Comments are visible for all those who read the post where you commented.  Comments may start a dialogue with other readers, which would be awesome, particularly if it leads to even more “self-improvement” in the world.

Want only me to see what you write on the site? Go to the “Contact Me” tab at the top of the web site post page and fill out the “form” that is there. Then your comment, question, etc. goes directly to me (via email) and only me!  If I ever become successful enough for that to change (aka I need someone to help me answer emails) I will be sure to alert you first.

Clear as mud, right? Well, Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’m only 6 months into this blog. Pretty sure Rome wasn’t entirely built in 6 months, either and I don’t speak Latin or Italian.

Monday’s Post: What do you think balneology means?

You might also like: MaryAnn’s Hospital Survey, This I Just Can’t Resist, and How I Cope with a Heart That’s a Ticking Time Bomb

For the last 2 days, I have relayed the results of the survey I asked my readers to answer. So, what does that mean for MIP going forward? First, let me say that changes right now will all be on a trial basis and as people give me feedback more informally, I will continue to tweak what I’m posting. Keep in mind that the changes are so that I can spend more energy on other projects, such as writing the novel and Lessons Learned book.

But, for now, I will keep doing the Word of the Week posts on Mondays. Do I hear a bunch of you thesaurus junkies rejoicing out there?

I will probably reduce the number of Slow Reader posts, simply because I am a slow reader and need more time to actually digest some books. A significant number of you do like these posts, so I don’t think I want to abandon them entirely. Besides, a writer should read and this makes me accountable! So, expect to see 1 or 2 Slow Reader posts a month.

I will probably continue the 26 Tuesdays post until we are finished with all 26 Sandy Hook victims only because I think that my self-improvement journey should include acts of kindness and again, this keeps me accountable. And because I believe these victims, along with all other victims of senseless crime, should be honored and remembered with “goodness” instead of evil! (May I suggest this for the Trayvon Martin case?) However, don’t expect these posts to be replaced by some other series.

Each week you can expect either a Lessons Learned feature or a serious post or a humorous post. In truth, the Lessons Learned series are often both serious and humorous. Don’t expect a Lessons Learned post every single week. Likewise, don’t expect a serious post every week or a humorous post every week, particularly in the beginning.  You will get at least one of the above each week, though. It will be a surprise!

So, for now, here’s the new format:

Mondays – Word of the Week
Tuesdays – 26 Tuesdays
Wednesdays – No Post
Thursdays – Random, Surprise Post
Friday – No Post
Saturday & Sunday – No Post

Later on, the format will look like this:

Mondays – Word of the Week
Tuesdays – No Post
Wednesdays – Random, Surprise Post
Thursdays – No Post
Fridays – Either a Slow Reader Post or a Random, Surprise Post
Saturday & Sunday – No Post

And, I will probably send out links for the new posts around 11 am, which is a much more sane hour for me right now. I will make this more and more “like clockwork” as time goes on, but expect some variation short term because of my current health adventures. I am finding that recuperation from this latest adventure is taking more time than I thought it would.

Many, many thanks to my readers! You are blowing my mind…in a good way and I treasure each and every comment and email you have sent my way to encourage me while I continue to recuperate. You bless me in ways you don’t even fathom!

Next Post: The Return of….the Word of the Week!

You might also like: Word of the Week: flehmen, 26 Tuesdays: Caroline Previdi, Slow Reader Thursdays: Quitter, and Lessons Learned from Heart Attacks 3 & 4

Yesterday I let my readers know the results of the first part of my little survey about MIP. Here’s the second part of what you told me from the survey:

1. The least popular features are (in this order): Poetry Saturdays, the 26 Tuesdays features (which I admit are driving me crazy, even though I believe in doing this), and the Slow Reader Thursday features (The reading part of this is driving me crazy, given the length of some of the books on my reading list).
2. If a survey respondent chose “other” on the above improvements, they usually said, “Write what you like to write when you want to write it.” I will take the “I want free books” statement “under advisement.”
3. 55% of my readers think I communicate the message and purpose of my blog extremely well; the rest said it was communicated very well. WOW. I’ll definitely take that.
4. 90% of you said you were either extremely likely or very likely to recommend MIP to someone else. WOW again! And please do…the more readers I have, the more likely it is that I can start offering those aforementioned free books. Jus’ sayin’.
5. 85% of you are either extremely or very interested in the novel. I’m truly flattered, particularly because I’m not tellin’ what I’m writing until it’s finished! This means I might actually be “out of debt” for this blog site someday and not have to rely on the generosity of my sweet hubby.
6. 80% of you are interested in a Lessons Learned book. That book is also started, but it has taken a back seat to the novel for the time being. It will probably be published on the heels of the novel, if at all possible.
7. 50% of you read the blog 2-3 times a week; 25% of you read it 6 or more times per week; and 20 % of you read it 4-5 times a week. Guess what? Expect to see 2 to 3 blog post per week in the future. This gives me “space” to write the novel.
8. 30% of you read the blog between 6 pm to midnight on weekdays; 25 % of you read it between 12 noon and 6 pm on weekdays and 20% of you read it between 6 am and noon on weekdays. You may see me tweeting and updating my Facebook professional page at about 11 am on the weekdays only when new blog posts come out. Again, this is all to make “more space” for writing the novel.

Tomorrow’s Post: What the Survey Results Mean for the Future of MIP…

New to MIP? May I suggest: Results of the Survey, Part I; So, Where Are My Posts?; Lessons Learned from Heart Attacks 3 & 4; and 2 Heart Attacks Too Soon, Part I