16
Mar

Espresso

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Growing up somewhat close to the University of Notre Dame, I spent a lot of time with Catholics. In fact I dated all Catholics (including one who was training to be a priest) until I finally found the one non-Catholic man in Indiana. Thus, this protestant preacher’s kid went to a lot of masses and Catholic weddings. My equally protestant mother also enjoyed watching the suspense caused whenever a new pope was to be selected during the cardinals’ conclave. I’m afraid I’ve succumbed to her “illness,” too. Since I have only known of 5 popes during my lifetime (including Pope Francis) and I am no “spring chicken”, the reality is that we probably should be paying some attention to each conclave. The election of a new pope does affect a rather large portion of the world’s population. Unfortunately for the Catholic community, I have known just a few too many crazy Catholics and so, I feel no obligation to be completely reverent about pontifical poetry. My apologies to God, Pope Francis, and my Catholic friends. After this, they will probably be my former Catholic friends.

The rare has happened,
A papal resignation
That has led to reason speculation.
Because of too many scandal seasons?
Or because of aging health reasons?
No matter what the trouble,
The Sistene Chapel is still far from rubble
And seems like a majestic setting
To drink Italian espresso
And celebrate ego less so.

To elect a new pope
You have to wear a dress
Which might cause distress
To an ordinary male witness
And the only sign of a decision
Is smoke with questionable color division

This method was first thought
By the Vatican distraught,
Who felt cardinals should elect a new pope
In less time than it takes for a spinster
To regain matrimonial hope.
So, they locked up those gentlemen,
Who had little papal acumen,
And gave them sparse nutrition
And little religious hydration.
And presto!
A quick election
With minimal additional frustration.

So, here is my question,
For our national consternation
Why haven’t we locked up our Congress
To fix our governmental budget mess?
It hasn’t been attempted
Because we know them all too well
They’d rather not jell or budget fight quell,
And most would rather drown
Before getting caught wearing a gown.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 16th, 2013 at 6:55 am and is filed under Fun Stuff, God stuff, Poetry. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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