The Mom person and I do not exactly agree on my food. I will grant you that she buys me tasty food, but she and I don’t see eye to eye on the matter of how empty my bowl should be before she refills it. Doesn’t she know that it’s my food and thus, I should control when it gets refilled?

She maintains that it should be really empty–absolutely no food in the bowl, no matter how long and how stale it gets. I espouse the “sniff test method” and if I think it’s past its expiration date, I’m not eating it. Besides, the last few morsels are usually pretty difficult for me to get to, since the ornery little suckers move to the outside of my bowl where it’s hard for me to get my rather large, lumpy nose and mouth positioned so that I can eat it.

You would think that this would cause the Mom person to give in to my obvious authority on the matter and just give me another bowlful of food. But, noooooooooooooo! The woman actually has the audacity to take my food scoop and move these nasty bits into the center of my bowl. Then, she points to the food and looks at me and says, “Eat it ALL GONE!” like I’m a moron. I know what “all gone” means…I just don’t want to eat it!

So, this past week I decided I was going to just stick close to her and be as annoying as I could be to convince her I needed fresh food. She is the moron, if you ask me! She didn’t take any of my hints and just continued to tell me to go play with my bone.

Is she broken? This woman needs a severe intervention by someone.

I finally ate the nasty food and thankfully, she did finally refill my bowl. When I scowled at her in disgust, she pretended to ignore me. Hmmm…when I’m done with this bowl, I must go to my thinking spot by the window and devise another method of controlling her.

Monday’s Post: Are you a bloviate?

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