29
Apr

Maizie’s Musings: The Tub…

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Before you get your furless fur in a twist (The fact that furless fur can twist is not a plus, in my humble opinion and it sounds painful!), I’m not speaking about that heinous bathroom cavern where the Dad person gets me wet and soapy. I’m talking about the good tub–the one containing my canine food. I have to be specific, because I also get people food.

For some reason the people food isn’t as plentiful as it was when I was a pup. The Mom person says it’s because I’m a little more fluffy than I should be. Even though I’ve lost something called “pounds,” I’m still not getting very much people food. And this is very distressing. Because the people food almost always tastes better than my canine food.

Even the canine food isn’t as good as it used to be because the Mom person says that it’s Healthy Weight canine food. I have no earthly idea what that means, but all I know is that the canine food just doesn’t seem to have quite the same pizzazz as it used to have.

However, I am particularly happy when the Mom or Dad person brings me a huge bag of that Healthy Weight canine food. Why? Because the new stuff is always better than the old tub stuff. I don’t know why, but it’s true.

Unfortunately, the Mom person requires me to finish the tub food first. What up with that??? Why won’t she just pour in the new bagged stuff right away? It seems like a huge insult and injustice. I’m thinking of suing….if I ever figure out what suing is.

According to the other dogs in my “territory,” if I sue I have to have a lawyer. So, anyone know a good canine lawyer? I’m thinking the resident cats might be good candidates. Why?

They’re sneaky and generally hate all humans. They’re convinced humans are a Communist plot designed to bring down their feline reign. They seem to know how to manipulate the humans without doing tricks or sitting and staying. That works for me!

But, I digress…back to the tub food. I have figured out one way around the old tub food issue. If I empty my bowl as quickly as the Mom person puts it in my bowl, I get another scoop of canine food. If I do that often enough, eventually she has to give me the bag stuff!

One day this week, however, she cut me off. I was not amused. I gave her my most disdainful look ever and the woman had the gall to actually laugh at me. Grrr.

Will cats take dog bones as a retainer?

Monday’s Post: What seems mellifluous to you?

You Might Also Like: Maizie’s Musings: My Toothpicks and Maizie’s Musings: I Went; They Left

This entry was posted on Friday, April 29th, 2016 at 10:50 am and is filed under Fun Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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