The mom person says you actually read what I write here. Don’t y’all have bones to chew?

Since you do read what I paw on this funny electrical contraption, today I want to talk about this funny wet stuff that sometimes shows up outside.

Outside is my favorite place in the whole world, usually. I get to bark at those winged invaders who keep stealing the dad’s person’s food. Of course, I question how bright he is for putting it in a container with holes in it! And that food doesn’t look all that great to me.

I also get to chase furry creatures with really long bushy tails who keep hiding in my trees. How dare they live in my trees! They keep stealing all of my pecans! They are there for me to chew up, thank you very much. I don’t remember giving them permission to do that!

I also like to ward off any people who think it is okay to be near my yard. This is important stuff because they might steal my frisbees or other critical items in the lawn. Sometimes I just happily lay down on the driveway and let the wind blow through my fur.

Earlier this week, though, outside was NOT my favorite place to be. Why?

Because the sky dropped (nonstop, I might add) this wet stuff all over my driveway and the lawn. It even dropped it where I go to the bathroom. That is just not cool.

The mom person keeps wanting me to go out there when the sky does this, but if you ask me the sky is not to be trusted! That wet stuff makes my fur cold and then I get cold.

It makes my paws cold, too and they are not supposed to get cold! The only up side to going out there when it’s dropping this stuff is that if I go to the bathroom in what the Mom person calls a puddle, then she gives me a snausage–one of my very favorite treats. But there are times when even a snausage will not get me to go out there.

The sky can be scary when it drops the wet stuff. It goes BOOM! I’m pretty sure the sky is exploding when that happens. The only safe thing to do when this happens is get under a bed. Unfortunately, most of the beds in my domicile are really low and it’s difficult for me to get my entire body under them. Let’s just say that I’m a plus-sized canine. The mom person actually takes pictures of me when this happens. I am not amused.

Why doesn’t she help me get more of my tushy under that bed? If it weren’t for the fact that she fills my dog bowls with food and hydration, I would ignore her totally.

Sometimes the BOOM is so scary, I actually shake all over and pant. I’m not sure why I do this, but it is not fun. Even a bone doesn’t seem to help. The mom person says she’s going to get me a thunder vest. Doesn’t she see I already have fur? I just don’t get her. But, I will probably let her put it on me just to humor her.

After all, I may need dog food later.

Monday’s Post: Word of the Week!

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