08
Aug

Top 10 Ways to Annoy Your Teen…

annoyed

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Note: Special thanks to fellow Mom Blogger, Natasha J at the Tiny Tots Adventure blog for the inspiration for this post!

It has long been my mantra that NO ONE ever talks about parent abuse, aka the ways our children and teens are such professionals at knowing exactly what “buttons” to push to irritate the stuffing out of us. I don’t condone child abuse, but I sure understand how it happens.

I once remember putting the oldest back in his crib screaming at the top of his lungs and walking out of his room late at night because nothing I was doing to console him was working and my sleep-deprived nerves were fraying like a 14 year old pair of cutoffs. It was either deposit him back into his crib or shake the living tar out of him. Since I knew the latter might land me in prison (where I might be able to get some uninterrupted sleep…hmmm), I had to walk away and find my brain again. (That only took 78 minutes.)

I thought that was the worst part of parenting. I was wrong. Potty-training was worse. Thus, since my 3 had me so well-abused by the time they hit puberty, I started learning how to retaliate or at least dream of ways I could torture them. It allowed me to survive having 3 teenagers at once. So, here are my Top 10 Ways to Get Even with a Teenager:

10. Cut their iPod/iPhone charging cords in half when they’re at school. Tell them the mice chewed it in half, thinking it was part of the leftover marshmallows in their room.

9. Say you’re taking them to the new sci-fi movie and then actually take them to a barber who specializes in bowl cuts.

8. Remove the window “apparel” from their room in the middle of the night and then put a spotlight outside their bedroom window, pointing toward their beds.

7. Put a note under their pillow in tiny writing that says, “I’m the tooth fairy and your teeth are so vile. I want a full refund. You owe me $ 40.00. (That includes interest.)”

6. Take their favorite stuffed animal to school and ask the school secretary to page them to pick up “Binky Bear” from the main office.

5. Wear a t-shirt with a baby picture on it labeled with, “Taking applications for who dates this handsome guy/girl.”

4. Remove their cell phone, computer, TV, iPod, video game console, and video games from their room and have a garage sale with those items with a 5 am start time the next day.

3. Post the homework that DIDN’T yield an A on your refrigerator and then invite all of their friends over for a surprise party.

2. Put a large, pink, lavender-scented air freshener in your son’s car (Hang it from the rear view mirror.) and his sweaty gym locker clothes in his sister’s car the night before the prom.

1. Not only hug them, but plant a big one on their cheeks, wearing 12-hour red lipstick. Do this in front of the varsity quarterback/head cheerleader.

Bwahahahaha.

Suggestions? Additions? Submit them below.

Monday’s Post: Do you need a diktat?

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This entry was posted on Friday, August 8th, 2014 at 10:50 am and is filed under Fun Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

comments

2
  1. August 8th, 2014 | Natasha says:

    Well here go a few more

    1 Place baking soda paste inside all their shoes except for the ones you want them to wear or the most beatup ones.
    2 When you get a call about behavior come to the school dressed in your best housewear.( Bet that will be your first and last call)
    3 Change their cell phone lock codes and make them earn them back
    4 Set very strict parental codes on the tv allowing only disney jr
    5 My favorite. Repeatedly asking them what LOL, LMBO, etc means.

    Thanks for the shout out! I enjoyed our conversation about annoying the teens. I might have to use the “Binky Bear” one.

    Natasha

  2. August 9th, 2014 | maryann says:

    Love it, Natasha! I think I could use a few of these on the 20 year old still. Hmmm….

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