27
Dec

‘Twas the Night AFTER Christmas…

reindeer

My profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore for this, but I worked in retail for just a bit too long:

 

‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the abode

Not a creature was stirring, cuz everyone was in nap mode

The clothes were hung in the closet with care,

In hopes that smaller waistlines soon would be there;

The adults were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of leftovers danced in their heads;

And one child on the sofa, the other in the fridge

Had just settled down for a game night so big,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and what the hay is a sash?

The moon on the breast of the new-frozen ground

Gave the luster of nothingness since it was all brown,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature cart, and eight tiny sales clerks,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Manager Rick.

More rapid than eagles his sales clerks they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Ringer! Now, Zinger! Now, Binger and Fixin’!

On, Shopper! Consumer! on, Buyer and Ditz-in!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now charge away! Charge away! Charge away all!”

So up to the house-top the sales clerks they flew,

With the cart full of bills, and Manager Rick, too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from that male

The chiming and blinging of each little sale.

As I thought in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Manager Rick came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all shiny where dollar signs were put;

A bundle of bills he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a Bill Gates just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old man,

And I winced when I saw him, in spite of too many pecans;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had a lot to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And tallied all the billings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying the bills down by the end of my toes,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his cart, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

 

“Happy Bill-paying to all, and to all a sleepless-night.”

This entry was posted on Friday, December 27th, 2013 at 10:50 am and is filed under Fun Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

comments

1
  1. December 28th, 2013 | Charlotte says:

    That was AWESOME!!!
    Thanks for being the funny, witty, thoughtful person you are!

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