I write this with great, great hesitation and fear. Why?

God is asking me to do something I fear will lose me everyone and everything I value. He is asking me to do it here.

I have long struggled with how to conduct myself on this blog. My favorite kind of writing is writing that entertains, encourages, and perhaps causes you to consider a different angle of this life…and the life after this one.

But, in 2014, God asked me to do a different kind of writing here. At first, I thought He wanted me to simply tell about the extraordinary experiences I have had with Him–experiences my M.S. in psychology can’t explain adequately.

Where’s Your Book, MaryAnn?

At that point, I began sensing that God wanted to use this blog for another purpose. Or at least my writing for some other purpose of His. I have tried writing two books, and for one reason or another, they always stall. And I think I know at least a little reason or two why.

Books cost money. Books usually have a human author.

If books cost money, someone may be unable to afford them somewhere. I think God wants His writing to be accessible to as many people as possible with as few barriers as possible. Granted, if I write it in a blog, one has to have technology to access it, but that is rapidly becoming available to more and more people across the globe now, even in some third-world countries.

And if my name is on the book, even as a “scribe,” the chances are I will not remain humble in the process. There. I said it. I write for my own ego and to gain the approval of others.

If there is anything I have learned in six decades, it’s that MaryAnn needs to stay humble. Arrogance and pride always get me in trouble. For many years now, I have asked God to keep me humble. About the time I get too big for my britches, He humbles me and positively answers that prayer.

Interestingly, when I succeed in at least feigning humility (which, admittedly, isn’t as often as I’d like!), surprising, beautiful things that I never would have expected happen to me. Because of these things, I am one blessed woman.

So, What Are You Going to Do Now?

My mom and dad used to refer to making significant decisions in their wedded life as “moving a checker.” I’m about to move a checker. A big one.

God is asking me to be His scribe–to write here what He dictates to me.

I don’t want to do this. My ego is rebelling big time. I can’t be sure I will correctly write down what God wants to say. Sometimes MaryAnn creeps into what God wants to convey; thus, I fear the MaryAnn part may lead people in the wrong direction. That would just about kill me.

Ways To Discern If It’s Really God

But, thankfully, after about six years of writing down what I think He’s communicating to me, He has shown me how to discern what is His writing vs. mine. I share it here for your consideration:

1. If God writes it, He writes it over and over again. If I write it, it’s a “one and done.” It often takes me a long time to figure out why He’s repeating a particular phrase over and over again.
2. If God writes it, it’s memorable. It sticks with me and influences how I conduct myself when life throws me curve balls. But, on the other hand, if I write it, it’s a piece of egotistical fluff.
3. If God writes it, it’s surprising. Sometimes I think God will take me to task, and instead, He reiterates just how much He loves me. Sometimes I believe God will be long-winded; instead, He is brief. Sometimes, He is poetic; sometimes, he is blunt and gets right to the point.  (Sometimes, He’s even hilarious!) I never know what will come out of my pen until He dictates it, phrase by phrase, to me.
4. If God writes it, it sounds like God. There’s a reason why the Bible contains what it contains. Sometimes a hymn or song lyric gets reiterated. Sometimes a poem comes back to me but in a surprising way.
5. If God writes it, I often cry. Those who know me well know I hate crying in front of people. The truth is I hate crying. Period. Mass amounts of tears usually result in a massive migraine. Thus, I avoid it like the plague. But, when God writes, the Wonderful Counselor is healing wounds I didn’t even know were wounds.
6. When God writes, it illuminates. I understand something in a new and different way that I thought I already understood.
7. When God writes, my heart is literally at peace. There is a physical “knot” in my heart when I write.
8. When God writes, it squares with Biblical teachings, particularly those of Jesus. Anything you see me write “As God’s Scribe,” I invite you to investigate for yourself in the Bible and see if you agree that God might have said that. If you disagree, that is your prerogative. All I ask is that you be respectful here, as I will respect your right to disagree.

No Scheduled Posts?

I don’t want to “tell God” when He has to write! Thus, from now on, I will not have scheduled posts here. My life seems to defy any sort of writing schedule anyway. I will just ask God if He wants to say anything here–write it in my journal and then transfer it here. I also don’t know how long or how many posts He’d like to put here. As of right now, I’m up to three entries in my journal and perhaps one more.

At least for now, this blog wholly belongs to Him.