Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

08
Apr

Maizie’s Musings: My Toothpicks…

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The Real Author of MIP…at least on Fridays

Geez, Louise….I really had to wrestle that keyboard out of the Mom person’s hands today. I mean…I shook my head and everything and she still wouldn’t let go of it. What is with her and that keyboard anyway?! I just wanted to reassure all of you that I hadn’t disappeared from my stellar writing career and tell you about my favorite toothpicks. I love this time of year because it’s when I get a lot of my toothpicks.

The Mom person has been going outside this week to take the toothpicks off the winged invaders’ homes. Unlike human toothpicks, these toothpicks have soft green things on them that I think are rather annoying. They get in the way of me creating toothpicks the way I like them.

I mean, these toothpicks are so large that they would never get my snacks out from between my teeth. I have to break them down into smaller pieces to get them to fit and this is a time-consuming process as it is, so having to pull those soft green things off of them is a pain!

18
Mar

Maizie’s Musings: I Went; They Left…

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When the Mom person gets out my leash, I get very excited. The Mom person only gets out the leash if I’m going somewhere in that car thing. She did just that not too long ago and I could barely sit still as she opened the door and then let me get in the back seat of the car thing.

She didn’t open the big window in the roof of the car thing and that disappointed me. I like putting my head out that window and watching the world from a higher vantage point. The people in the other car things are always laughing and pointing their paws at our car thing as I do this. I don’t understand why.

She actually had the audacity to make me lay down on the back seat this time. What up with that? If I got up to look out the side windows, she made me lay down again and got angry if I didn’t! Doesn’t she know that I’m in charge?

11
Mar

Maizie’s Musings: Furless Fur…

Dog of Steel

Courtesy of moviepilot.com

Those loud booms are back again. This does not make me happy. And they aren’t going away.

When the booms come, I start panting and shaking and I can’t seem to stop. I even went to my usual cave, but couldn’t stop panting. One morning the Mom person noticed that I was panting even when laying down in my cave. She must have been concerned about it because she got her furless fur on before noon (Trust me–this is unusual for her.) and left the house.

I was not wild about her being gone while the booms were going off, but when she came back, she had something for me! I’m not sure what this gizmo is supposed to be, but it resembles some of the Mom person’s furless furs.

She wrapped one part around my neck and then wrapped the rest around my middle parts. The funniest thing happened after she did that–I stopped panting! I even decided, reluctantly, to stay by her while she typed on her laptop. I was still worried the booms could get me, but as long as the Mom person was nearby, I could handle it.

When I go outside, she takes it off. I definitely do not understand that! That is where the booms are loudest and the wet stuff comes from the sky. That’s when I needed that furless fur the most! But off it comes! It doesn’t seem to matter what I think. The only good news about going outside when the booms are going off is that I get a treat afterwards.

The good news is that if I start panting or shaking, she puts the furless fur on me again and I feel better. Sometimes I still go into my cave, because I’m not quite sure how a furless fur protects me from the booms, but I’m starting to think of it as my Super Dog cape.

I wonder if I can fly in my Super Dog cape. Hmmm…..I may have to try that from the Mom person’s bed when she’s not around. Remind me to put goggles on her shopping list.

Monday’s Post: What is the definition for calumny?

You Might Also Like: Maizie’s Musings: The Suitcase; Maizie’s Musings: The Wet Stuff; and Maizie’s Musings: Bones

04
Mar

Maizie’s Musings: The Suitcase

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I’m always happy to see Friday roll around and not because the Mom person lets me type on her laptop. It’s usually the day I get to see the Dad person.

The Dad person goes away a lot. And that makes me sad because he is my meat and cheese connection. A dog must have ample meat and cheese. It’s a rule.

Well, it’s a rule for me. And I make the rules. Shhhhhhhh. Don’t tell the Mom or Dad person. They still think they run the show.

I can tell exactly when the Dad person is going away. He gets out this big blue (Yes, I see colors. I’m a special dog.) suitcase. The suitcase is so big that it needs these weird round paws that roll along the floor. I need to ask the Mom person if I can get round paws because I’m kinda big myself. It must be that boring dog food that I’m forced to eat when the Dad person is away.

He puts it on my favorite sleeping spot and opens it up and starts putting his fur coverings in there. At least I think they’re fur coverings. They don’t fall out like my fur and he can take his fur coverings on and off. Now that I think about it, the Mom person has stuff like that, too.

He has a lot of fur coverings. How many does 1 human need???

Anyway I don’t like it when the fur coverings go in and he closes up the suitcase and puts it by the back door. Sometimes I lay down in front of the door to keep him from leaving, but he makes me move. So, my next line of defense is to sit in the doorway of that room where the fur coverings go when they get dirty and just look as pathetic as I can absolutely look.

I lower my head down as far as I can and give the Dad person this really worried look. Apparently, I need to work on this look because he leaves anyway. Sometimes he even takes the Mom person with him! However, it does usually get me a pat on the head and some scratching behind my ears. That’s my zen place.

The only good news about this is that when they both go away, these really cool humans come by to visit me. They play with me, feed me the boring dog food, and give me water. Two of them give me a new bone each time they come to visit! Some of them even sit on the back porch and pet me for a while. They even scratch in the Zen zone.

Okay. So maybe I can do without the Mom and Dad person.

Monday’s Post: What’s your guess for this week’s WOW?

You Might Also Like: Maizie’s Musings: The Wet Stuff and Maizie’s Musings: Bones

26
Feb

Maizie’s Musings: The Wet Stuff…

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The mom person says you actually read what I write here. Don’t y’all have bones to chew?

Since you do read what I paw on this funny electrical contraption, today I want to talk about this funny wet stuff that sometimes shows up outside.

Outside is my favorite place in the whole world, usually. I get to bark at those winged invaders who keep stealing the dad’s person’s food. Of course, I question how bright he is for putting it in a container with holes in it! And that food doesn’t look all that great to me.

I also get to chase furry creatures with really long bushy tails who keep hiding in my trees. How dare they live in my trees! They keep stealing all of my pecans! They are there for me to chew up, thank you very much. I don’t remember giving them permission to do that!

12
Feb

Maizie’s Musings: Bones…

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Have you been playing outside? I sure have. The weather is like that time of year when the Dad person shaves off my fur so I can be cooler. Usually, at this time of year I need all of my fur, but if this weather keeps up, I’m going to need those buzzing things he uses a lot sooner!

When I go outside, I like to find the small wooden things that have fallen from the winged invaders’ hideout. I like to prop them up in my front paws and chew them into tiny little bits.

Unfortunately, none of the winged invaders have a hideout indoors and so I can’t find the tiny wooden things! It’s a big pain because I have to hop up and down like a possessed kangaroo to get a bone. Bones are kinda like the wooden things, but much bigger and tastier.

The mom person calls them “rawhides,” but there’s nothing uncooked about them and they don’t resemble any animal’s hide from what I can tell.

05
Feb

Maizie’s Musings: Paw Massages

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Rrrrrrrrrrrrruff! How are my readers? Yes, you are my readers. The mom person just hasn’t figured out this obvious reality yet. She’s just weird.

Because I am Queen of the Canine Universe, I am entitled to paw massages. (The people tell me that entitlement is common in America, therefore, I am certain that canine queens deserve paw massages.) What is a paw massage?

When I sit down beside my people, I lift up my paw to them. My people know that when I do this, they are to rub all parts of my paw (top and bottom, inside and out), thoroughly. By thoroughly I mean for about 5 hours. Sometimes I re-position my corresponding leg to receive leg massages, too, but I’m fonder of paw massages. Other people shake my paw up and down and I have no earthly idea why.

29
Jan

Maizie’s Musings: Short People…

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Short people came to my domicile a few days ago, along with a whole lot of big people. The short people are a lot more fun–they like to run around like I do and they think that my retrieval skills are da bomb. Since my frisbee collection is my proudest possession (We’ll discuss temporary possessions later.), I am overjoyed when a people picks one up and heads for my favorite domicile door. That means I get to chase one of them!

And I love to chase frisbees. They fly through the air much like the winged invaders in my back yard, but do not have wings, do not eat vats of bird seed in one perching, and do not poop on my people’s porch chairs. This seems to be a very important attribute about frisbees for the mom person–she’s not wild about winged poop on the chairs.

Frisbees do have some deficits from the winged invaders. The winged invaders can fly back and forth, while the frisbees seem to incessantly lose altitude and fall to the ground. I must save them from certain death before they hit the ground! They also have to be launched by one of the people. Their mom frisbees must not have taught them very much about flying.

Sometimes I have to jump into the air to catch them before they fall victim to the other inhabitants in my yard (That and those sharp, pointy ball things that pretend to be grass). The mom person gets particularly excited when I do this. I don’t know why. She’s just weird.

The biggest problem with the frisbees is that they have no navigational skill whatsoever. They are very uncooperative that way. Talk about inconsiderate! Sometimes I have to run back to them after I have raced out to the middle of the yard to save them. You would think they would be more grateful since I’m saving them.

Because they have no navigational skill (They could benefit from GPS.), they often do wind up on the ground. When I pick them up after this horrible tragedy, they are often bruised and may even have holes in them! The mom person says it’s because my teeth are so sharp, but I try to pick them up carefully, so it can’t possibly be me. The frisbees just need to be more careful!

Sometimes the frisbees pretend to be winged invaders and fly into trees. Silly frisbees! But, that’s actually a little easier for me to catch and bring to my mom and dad person for protection from the other inhabitants in my yard. I’m not sure how the frisbees fly since I have to get a head start on them and run to where they usually have trouble flying.

I have noticed one correlation–when bigger people with deeper voices are launching the frisbees, the frisbees fly farther.  I must investigate this phenomenon more thoroughly.

Thus, the short people who visited my domicile a few days ago made the frisbees fall a lot faster. This meant I had a really tough assignment trying to keep them from hitting the ground.

All I know is that after I finished saving all the doomed frisbees, the short people sat on the cool tile floor indoors with me afterwards and petted my head. I really like that! My fur says that they went to their own domiciles way too soon. I hope they come back again, for the fur’s sake. Maybe I’ll even let them have one of my bones.

Monday’s Post: Why is Brobdingnagian capitalized?

You Might Also Like: Maizie’s Musings: My Cave; Maizie’s Musings: My Favorite Bed; and A Maizie Christmas

22
Jan

Maizie’s Musings: My Cave…

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Greetings, people!

I am one smart canine. Whenever the mom person gets out my cave, I know I get to go in the moving machine. What? You don’t know what a moving machine is? It has wheels and makes a lot of noise and lets me see new yards. The mom person’s moving machine even has a hole in the roof of it and she will sometimes let me put my head out of the roof hole so that I can feel the air rush through my fur and watch the interesting expressions of other people in moving machines. They mostly have their mouths wide open. I don’t know why.

15
Jan

Maizie’s Musings: My Favorite Bed

Dog on bed

The people in my abode have given me a pretty comfy bed that is finally big enough for my entire dogginess. Before the new bed I had to curl up into a tiny ball and that is not exactly easy for my entire dogginess. While I love my bed, it’s not my favorite.

Shhhhhhhh….this is a secret, but when the people leave my abode, I hop up on the mom and dad persons’ bed. Now that is one comfy bed! It perfectly conforms to my entire dogginess and I can stretch out all I want. There is even room for all those canines I mentioned last week. However, if they got on my favorite bed, I would be getting off. Immediately.

The mom person says their bed is a Tempur-pedic. I prefer Tempur-perfect. The only difficulty with sleeping on my favorite bed is that I often take a nap there since it’s so comfy. If I fall asleep too well, then my sneaky human family can enter the abode before I jump off the Tempur-perfect. If this happens, I get in trouble, big-time and my canine bed gets put on a very drafty back porch.