Have you found a new page for MIP yet? This is today’s version of “Where’s Waldo?”

For just about the entire 30 + years I have been married to the hubby, he has been on the road for business reasons. This may seem crazy to the rest of the married world, but we actually enjoy living like this. Yes, we enjoy it. Here’s why:

1. My kitchen is pretty much tidy on the weekdays because he cooks enough that I can just heat up leftovers for a week. I don’t think the man knows how to cook for less than a military regiment.

2. It’s quiet while he’s away. When he’s home, there is the NFL Channel or the Food Channel or Fixer-Upper or some other weird channel on our TVs and the man hasn’t figured out where the down arrow is for the volume control. Which brings me to # 3…

3. I get to use the remote control all by myself on the weekdays. I am convinced he thinks I don’t know how to use it properly simply because I choose to watch one channel for more than 30 seconds at a time.

4. The hubby likes the bed made, the laundry room tidy and all of the dishes done every day. Since I am writing this on my bed, laptop propped on my knees, this is just not my style. I can live with dirty dishes and an untidy laundry room until I run out of cereal bowls.

5. The hubby is a morning person. Even the dog knows this and it’s NOT a good thing! The hubby thinks he’s sleeping in if he gets up at 5 am. I didn’t know there was a 5 am until I married him. If the sun hasn’t gotten up yet, then why should I?

6. # 5 does have its benefits. He brings me lattes in bed. Sometimes he brings my entire breakfast to my bed. But that’s definitely my cue that I should quit being lazy and actually try to do something productive. And if brought before 8 am, I might snarl at him.

7. He goes to bed at a rather early hour and I’m just starting my day then. Thus, on the weekdays I don’t have to worry that being up until 3 am working on my laptop or watching the latest chick flick will keep him awake. I also don’t get eye rolls when I want to watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for the 14th time.

8. As the youngest in my family and the only girl, I expect to be treated like a princess. He’s a middle child and thinks everyone should be his servant. Thus, my mind wrestles with just how far to go with this whole obedient wife thing. No matter whether I give into his wishes or give in to mine, I always feel conflicted. Do they make pills for this???

9. The bathroom fans actually get turned off occasionally on the weekdays. The man is constantly hot and I’m constantly cold. So, he is constantly turning on all the fans in the house and I’m constantly turning them off. I fear that we are giving the fans an identity crisis.

10. When he comes home, it’s play time. Despite all of the above the man does spoil me rotten. So, we often go to the movies, drive through the country, shop until we drop, eat at new places and even go on some rather expensive weekend trips to nice B & B’s every so often. Yes, he DOES fix things on the weekend (There’s ALWAYS something broken at our house!), but he’s so good at it, that it usually doesn’t take much time.

11. We talk every night. Yes, every night. He told his company he wouldn’t work for them unless he could call me every night. They hired him anyway, despite this audacity. I do think he persuaded them to do this simply because he didn’t have a cell phone at first and I took messages for him, but they still don’t seem to balk about paying for our long talks each night even now. These talks have been tearful, hilarious, boring, angry, ridiculous and sublime. I am convinced that we wouldn’t talk as much if it weren’t for him being on the road, which forces verbal communication. Here’s the kicker: We’ve never skyped.

12.  The long nights away also come with frequent traveler points. These points allow for those long weekend trips for a minimal expense and have allowed us to be generous with families, friends and church members when the occasions demand it. It makes me feel like Melissa Gates.

13. I don’t have to compete with the cell phone on the weekdays. While other wives are lamenting that their hubbies are constantly on their phones in the evenings, I’m oblivious. So much so that I don’t even ask him to turn it off when he’s home. I have insisted that it be turned off while on vacation for a day or two, but the reality is that those calls are what pay for those vacations, so I know it’s in my best interests, to allow the calls as much as humanly possible.

14. Life is never boring. To me, this is the bottom line. He keeps it fresh. About the time I think I know the man, he surprises me. When I’m angry, he’s the first to make me laugh. When I need comfort, he’s there (and I still can’t figure out how he does this!). And he rarely fails to grab my hand in church on Sunday morning. Maybe it’s not boring because we both have the weekdays to think about making it interesting???  Maybe it’s because in real married time, we’ve only been married about 16 years???

We may need counseling for the retirement years. However, our U.S. government seems bent on making it impossible to retire and this may be a blessing in disguise.

Monday’s Post: Do cadges wear badges?

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