Posts Tagged ‘archaeology’


What would an Archaeologist Say About This in 100 Years?


The youngest is cleaning out his room and the other areas of the house where his belongings have migrated in preparation to going to college this fall. It’s kinda like an urban 21st century archaeological dig, if you ask me. Here is what I predict he will unearth at these excavation sites of his:

  1. An empty aquarium with blue rocks only (He just HAD to have those BLUE rocks.) with one measly, slimy green plastic tree
  2. Gum wrappers from the 1990s
  3. Various assorted items he “stole” from his two older siblings
  4. Every Bionicle known to man, each one missing an essential part.
  5. Broken drumsticks
  6. Clothes he wore when he was 6 (He will probably argue that they still fit, too.)
  7. Books about dinosaurs, none of which he has read
  8. The school library book I had to pay to replace 10 years ago
  9. A Netflix rental for Pan’s Labyrinth which he swore he didn’t have
  10. Five unused Bibles (They will magically get into his suitcase by the Bible fairy.)
  11. 4 half used cans of Axe spray, in various, conflicting scents
  12. Expired gummy multi-vitamins (bottle still full)
  13. 4 empty prescription bottles for his ADD meds, all of which have expired
  14. 200 dull pencils with no eraser left
  15. 101 dried out pens
  16. 6 boxes of dried out assorted colored markers
  17. 7 packs of dried out modeling clay in assorted colors (His life is just a rainbow!)
  18. 4 pieces of unused poster board, with at least one corner torn each and two creases each
  19. 16 pairs of scissors that used to reside in my kitchen drawer
  20. 29 pictures of old girlfriends and girls he wished were his girlfriends
  21. 8 sports bottles with the remnants of red Gatorade welded to the bottom
  22. 4 partially empty, flat-tasting cans of Pepsi Max (which is my favorite beverage, I might add!)
  23. A dusty gorilla mask that he wore in 6th grade
  24. 1 gorilla hand (See # 24)
  25. 2 gorilla feet (See # 24)
  26. 10 stuffed animals that he insists he’s grown out of, but won’t throw out or donate
  27. 3 mostly unused tubes of toothpaste with the caps all missing
  28. 16 razors (and yet we still have to remind him to shave every other week)
  29. 4 razor blades still in their original packaging
  30. 2 retainers that are too small for his mouth now
  31. 3 boxes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle band-aids
  32. 2 boxes of Power Ranger band-aids, none of which still have the sterile outer wrapping
  33. 4 issues of the Swim Suit Edition of Sports Illustrated (He will swear that these just walked into his room somehow.)
  34. Several rolls of assorted colors of electrical tape
  35. 1 roll of duct tape in which the beginning is permanently cemented to the roll.
  36. A partially chewed rawhide bone
  37. 2 super-sized bottles of mouthwash, both 90% used accompanied by a very interesting stain on my carpeting
  38. A fruit roll-up from 1995
  39. 4 birthday cards with money still in them
  40. A dead partridge…pear tree and bird seed optional.


Monday’s Post: Are you eurytopic?

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