Posts Tagged ‘canned peas’


Things I’m Not Thankful For…Part 4


I promise that I will get off this tangent of being ungrateful, but the reality is that I have still not learned how to be thankful for the following:

1. Canned Peas: The frozen variety suits me just fine, but that slimy pale green version reminds me of…well…you know. I am grateful that I at least have the choice  between the slimy version and the frozen version! Oh, and I don’t care what brand is on the outside of the can, they’re still slimy on the inside of the can.

2. Asparagus: I think this is a texture issue for me, but when you cook a veggie, shouldn’t it get softer or better tasting? Asparagus doesn’t seem to do either for me. Even dousing it in artery-clogging sauce doesn’t seem to help. I’ll just consume the sauce, thank you.

3 Band-aids that don’t stick: It’s okay if the band-aids fail when they get wet or have been on for too long, but more and more, the band-aids in a brand new box don’t seem to stick like they did when I was a kid. We used to rip off arm hair when we took them off as a kid. All I can figure is that kids must have a lot more arm hair these days. And why do we need more arm hair???

4. Loud roads: Yes, you read that right. I used to think that not being able to hear myself think while in the car was due to a lack of air conditioning. Then, when we got an air-conditioned car, I thought it was because we couldn’t afford the expensive models with better soundproofing. Well, I have the expensive car now and they are even louder, if you ask me. And this conclusion I have reached despite advancing deafness. Maybe we should pave roads with ear plugs and acoustical tile??? If not, then may we economically develop hovercraft vehicles before I leave the planet for good.

5. Small jeans pockets/Bigger cell phones: Why did I put these two together? Because when I am in a meeting or service or gathering in which it’s necessary to put the phone on vibrate, I prefer to put it in my front pants pocket where I not only will be sure to feel it vibrate, but also will be able to retrieve it easily and noiselessly. Since women’s jeans designers insist on the “low rider” look, the front jeans pockets are too little for safely holding my mammoth phone. While I enjoy a lot of the features of my phone, even the smallest smart phone will not fit well in these pockets. I am forced to either constantly re-stuff it in said tiny pocket or pocket it in my back pocket where a pick pocket can pocket it.

Monday’s Post: Are you ephebic?

You might also like: Things I’m Not Thankful For…Part 3, Things I’m Not Thankful For…Part 2, Things I’m Not Thankful For…Part 1, and The Odd Days of November