Posts Tagged ‘diets’


The Odd Days of May…

Mother Goose?

Mother Goose?

Warning: Get a beverage first.

Normally, I would do an “Odd Days” post at the beginning of the month, but with my winter writing hiatus, I’m a little behind. So, since I just know you can wait no longer (yeah, right) for my commentary on the weird holidays of May, here goes:

May 1st – Mother Goose Day -This holiday celebrates fairy tales and does not celebrate goosing mothers, right?

May 2nd – Space Day – I’m sure we’re supposed to be focused on NASA, etc. on this day, but my mind fervently wants to put “Cadet” between Space and Day here

May 3rd – Lumpy Rag Day – I’m so relieved they finally made this a holiday–Smooth rags are just no help at all.

May 4th – National Candied Orange Peel Day – Since most December fruitcakes are composed of this stuff, why is it celebrated in May???

May 5th – Oyster Day – Since I’m not too fond of oysters, could we insert “Cracker” between Oyster and Day??? If so, I’m in.

May 6th – No Diet Day – Probably because I ate too many oyster crackers on May 5th.

May 7th – National Tourism Day – The ever-traveling hubby despises any day that encourages tourists to be tourists–just visit any airport from May to September and you’ll understand why.

May 8th – No Socks Day – Texans stopped wearing sox in April. Thus, this one must be for Midwesterners. It’s way too early for the northerners who might, emphasis on might, get to go sockless by the 4th of July.

May 9th – Lost Sock Memorial Day – Shouldn’t Lost Sock Memorial Day come before No Socks Day just naturally??? And memorial suggests the sock is not only lost, but also dead. I didn’t know that socks could be alive. But that just gave me an idea for a Mother Goose fairy tale.

May 10th – Clean Up Your Room Day – Because your mother is tired of your offensive alive socks all over your room

May 11th – Twilight Zone Day (Actually this is the correct labeling for May 9th–either that or having Star Wars Day on May 4th made the Twilight Zone fans a little jealous.)

May 12th – Fatigue Syndrome Day – Please note that this day came right after Mother’s Day.

May 13th – Frog Jumping Day – Is this the only day frogs should jump? Are you supposed to pounce on unsuspecting frogs? Are you supposed to play leap frog this day?

May 14th – Dance Like a Chicken Day – Had to be invented by a Texan since random Texans will instantly get in a circle to do the Chicken Dance when the appropriate music is played. No inebriation necessary…but probably helpful.

May 15th – National Chocolate Chip Day – I celebrated this day by consuming an entire large-sized bag of chocolate chips. It was my duty, right?

May 16th – National Sea Monkey Day – Because there just aren’t enough artificially colored brine shrimp in the world

May 17th – Pack Rat Day – Let’s not tell Hoarders about this day.

May 18th – No Dirty Dishes Day – Either this was invented by a mom who got tired of doing dishes after Mother’s Day or is an evil Communist plot by the paper plate industry.

May 19th – Boy’s Club Day – Ummm….and where, oh where is Girl’s Club Day??? Hmmmm….another evil Communist plot.

May 20th – Be a Millionaire Day – Is this when Bill Gates finally makes good on paying all of us for liking some status on FB?

May 21st – National Memo Day – To: Millionaires: From: MIP Date: May 21st, 2014 Re: We Hate You and Your Stupid Holiday on May 20th

May 22nd – Buy a Musical Instrument Day – Why? Because a pile of parents are tired of paying rent for their band kids’ instruments all year

May 23rd – Lucky Penny Day – The Unlucky Penny Union will be wanting equal time.

May 24th – National Escargot Day – I’m sensing a seafood theme here. See May 5th and May 16th.

May 25th – Tap Dance Day – Wear ear plugs?

May 26th – Sally Ride Day – Now, I’m sure this refers to astronaut Sally Ride, but my warped mind goes immediately to Mustang Sally by Wilson Pickett. You just sang, “Ride, Sally, Ride”, didn’t you??? 😉

May 27th – Sunscreen Day – This would have been more helpful on the day (earlier in May) when I endured a TCU graduation for 4 hours in the hot Texas sun. May 27th will probably still be “Recover from Sunburn” Day at my house.

May 30th – Water a Flower Day – I’m thinking that if you only water one flower on this day (and no other?), you won’t be seeing flowers at your house for very long.

May 31st – National Macaroon Day – I guess coconut is under-appreciated???

Friday’s Post: Slow Reader Friday & Book Club Announcement Day!

You Might Also Like: The Odd Days of January 2014, The Odd Days of December,  and The Odd Days of November