Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

09
May

The Anniversary…

chocolate cake

The post right after announcing my writing “sabbatical” would have been quite different, had it been published. It would have marked the one year anniversary of the first MIP blog post! I would have announced the Top 10 MIP Posts of 2013 in that post and thus, even though it’s delayed, I am posting it now. Beginning with # 10,  here are the posts that you read the most this past year:

10. Slow Reader Thursday: 20 Books – This “Slow Reader” post is a little different from the rest. This one listed the 20 books that have most influenced my life or at least intrigued me the most. If you’re a reader, then you probably love such posts, since you may encounter books you haven’t read yet that you want to add to your own reading Bucket List. If you’re new to the blog and wonder about the “Slow Reader” name, I’m the slowest reader in history! I keep myself accountable about reading (Supposedly, it makes one a better writer–I’ve yet to see evidence of that!) by posting book reviews here and have even started an MIP Book Club. Because of the Book Club and my slow-reading nature, the Slow Reader post now comes on the last Friday of the month and has been changed to “Slow Reader Friday.”

9. Word of the Week: roseate – This WOW (Word of the Week) was written in late August. I don’t know why so many read it as opposed to the other WOWs this past year, but I guess you liked the silliness I put for my definition guesses of roseate??? The WOW posts are some of the easiest and most fun to write, plus they don’t take much time for me to write. I generally thank God for this small amount of brilliance on my part, because the hubby is usually home only on the weekends and thus, many home improvement projects, dates, and celebrations take place on the weekends. Because of the brevity of the WOW posts, I can usually whip one out sometime over the weekend in between hanging with the hubby and sleep in on Monday mornings, thanks to a well-designed web site that allows me to schedule my posts ahead of time.

8. MaryAnn’s Hospital Survey – Most of my dear readers know that I have a rare heart condition and suffered two heart attacks in June of 2013.  It takes quite a while to recuperate from these and part of why it takes so long is that my hospital insists on bugging me by phone and snail mail regarding my impressions of their care. After finally getting around to giving them some feedback on one of the snail mail surveys, I decided it was time to exact revenge of the sort that my new little career permits me–creating a rather tongue-in-cheek survey of my own. Occasionally, my past posts still make me burst out laughing. This would be one of those posts.

7. Lessons Learned from Being a Pansy and No, I Don’t Mean the Flower –  This post is probably in the top running for longest blog post title. If it weren’t for the limitations of the web site, they’d probably be even longer. Since I’m so verbose, I adore long titles for some sick reason. It may stem from writing 151 papers for my master’s a few years ago. Apparently, journal article titles are supposed to be 12 to 14 words long. Don’t ask me why–if flies in the face of all other usual writing tips. But, once again, this post still makes me smile and giggle just a little.

6. You 3.0: Mindset, Part I – I took off 33 pounds without joining a diet program or buying a gym membership. I didn’t buy new exercise equipment. I just got “real” about who I am and how I eat and how I live. Probably because I’m a trained counselor, I knew that dealing with my faulty thinking patterns were the first battleground for my waistline shrinkage. And so, I dealt with that and gradually, over a couple of years, changed a lot of my habits. I fell off the wagon several times, but this time I got right back on the wagon and didn’t let a bad day, week or month deter me. The result? My own brother didn’t recognize me when I walked down the aisle at my daughter’s wedding and he was impressed. If I can do it, so can you.

5. Word of the Week: nepenthe – You’ll probably notice, right away, that this is one of the earlier posts. There are a lot of references to some early MIP abbreviations and no “You also might like” links at the bottom. Again, I have no earthly idea why you liked this WOW post so much.

4. Why Should Obama Have All the Fun – This was my inaugural post that came right after Obama’s inauguration. Because it yielded the most comments from my readers, it’s still on top of the “leader board” in the “Popular Posts” banner at the top of my web site and I think that is why it continues to be a post that many new MIP fans still read.

3. Lessons Learned from Committing a Neatness to My Laundry Room – This post is a “leftover” from the FB posting days, where my writing career started to blossom. In reviewing it today, I reminded myself, yet again, that I should get busy and put up some more “Point to Ponder Challenges.” Do I get to claim that it’s been a hectic, weird year for me and that my challenge has been just completing a post and publishing it??? Hopefully, things will simmer down this year and I can give you more “food for thought.” My over-riding goal for this blog is for you, me and the rest of the planet to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. And those Points to Ponder are a part of my crazy “plan” for that goal.

2. “MaryAnn-isms” or Caution: Read at Your Own Peril – This was the 2nd post on MIP. It is the most often-referenced post of all my posts, simply because it explains some of my quirky abbreviations and style of writing (I’m pretty sure I link to it at least once in every post, even in this very post!). Honestly, I need to update it. While some of the abbreviations developed in the FB days, others were ones I thought I would use here this year and based on reader feedback, chose to stop the others. So, expect a version 2 of MaryAnn-isms sometime in the near future. If you read it again, you’ll realize how much the blog morphed this past year–just part of MaryAnn’s progress! 😉

1. Word of the Week: meretricious – Are you wondering why a WOW post wound up being # 1? I’m not. Why? Because I think spammers first discovered my blog when this post first published and tried to hack the site via the post. Thanks to the DSL, my site’s protective features blocked all of this nonsense and kept it from harming any of my readers’ computers. The nonsense continues and the spammers still try to get into the site, but all to no avail. Even FB recently proclaimed my site’s content as safe. So, I’m okay with this post being number 1, because it means people outside my friends and family are starting to notice MIP. Maybe not the right people, but it’s slowly gaining steam and that’s all an amateur writer can hope for from a beginning blog. Thankfully, there are other, more positive signs on the horizon!

To all who have been here from the beginning: You have my undying thanks for your loyalty and encouragement. To those just now discovering MIP: Welcome! We’re glad you’re here. Stick around. Explore. Read when you can. And to all of you: I hope you are already the very best version of yourself and need no “in progress” qualifiers after your name. 🙂

Monday’s Post: Have you submitted your guess for hoise?

You might also like: The 12 Days of MIP: 10 & 9;The 12 Days of MIP: 8 & 7: The 12 Days of MIP: 6 & 5; The 12 Days of MIP: 4 & 3; and The 12 Days of MIP: 2 & 1

03
Jul

MaryAnn’s Hospital Survey…

answer choices

Directions: Submit the best answer for each survey question  in the Comment box at the bottom of your screen. Thank you for your feedback. It will ensure better care for our current and future patients.

1. When treating you for 2 heart attacks, do you prefer:

a. That we endlessly ask you your prehistoric birthdate
b. That we use you as our own personal pin cushion
c. That we bump you down the main thoroughfare of your town on a gurney at 1 am
d. That we call you “Mrs. Hook” during your Care Flite

2. When arriving at the heart catheterization lab, do you prefer:

a. To spend 20 minutes greeting the entire team of people about to surgically cut you open
b. To receive as little anesthetic as possible so you can feel the actual incision
c. To be asked to take deep breaths during your snoozefest
d. To hear “Oops” while we look at your heart on a computer

3. While in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, do you prefer:

a. For us to re-enact World War II outside your open room door at 2 am
b. To shine bright lights in your eyes precisely when you have just fallen asleep
c. To be convinced you’re a drug addict (after a 14 year hiatus from the last morphine drip) within the first 24 hours of your arrival
d. To ask you to use a bedpan with knives protruding from the seat

4. How was your level of pain controlled?

a. I was comatose until I was out of pain. Rip Van Winkle had fitful sleep by comparison.
b. I vaguely recall being hospitalized and someone calling me Mrs. Hook.
c. I would have slept but it sounded like the re-enactment of World War II outside my door.
d. When did you get the bedpan with knives on top???

5. How courteous and polite were your nurses?

a. I felt like Kate, minus the baby bump.
b. I felt like Zuckerberg’s wife.
c. I felt like Paula Deen.
d. I felt like the bottom of an urban dumpster.

6. How long did your discharge take?

a. Tom Cruise (while in his Top Gun fighter jet) discharged me.
b. Marco Andretti discharged me.
c. Grandma Moses painted an entire gallery of million dollar art while I waited for discharge.
d. Snails have moved faster.

7. If you were to improve one area of our operation, what would it be?

a. Quit employing vampires for lab technicians.
b. Stop asking you survey questions that raise your blood pressure.
c. Empty that bedpan more than every 48 hours.
d. Cease to refer to the procedural routine of the hospital as an “operation.”

8. How was your follow-up care after your discharge?

a. I can’t get any sleep because I keep getting phone surveys from your “operation.”
b. I have repeated nightmares about being an addict.
c. It only took 7 weeks to make my 2 month check-up appointment.
d. I am Kate. Maybe I do have an addiction?

You might also like: Lessons Learned from Completing a Hospital Survey, This I Just Can’t Resist,Lessons Learned from Heart Attacks 3 & 4

02
Jul

Lessons Learned from Completing a Hospital Survey….

checkmark

  1. Don’t start by counting how many questions you have to answer.
  2. There were 86 questions.
  3. Many of the questions were redundant, so we killed trees for nothing.
  4. The paper was heavy weight…more trees gone.
  5. Read all of the questions first before answering any of them.
  6. The regular nursing staff got a better rating than they deserved because of # 5 and using an ink pen. You’re welcome.
  7. If you can skip certain sections if they don’t apply to you, all of them will apply to me. See # 2.
  8. They still think I only visited their hospital once. I guess the 2nd time I was a mirage? I’ll remember that when it’s time to pay the 2nd set of bills.
  9. My doctor’s nurse thinks the same thing. See # 8.
  10. The helicopter evacuation team thinks the same thing. See # 8.
  11. They don’t make an answer choice for what I really think.
  12. They’re too scared to make an answer choice for what I really think.
  13. In reality, no one has ever thought up my particular answer choices. Or survey questions, for that matter.
  14. # 13 makes me smile…rather sadistically. I feel a post coming on…
  15. If they don’t want my actual opinion, they should not provide blank lines after the questions.
  16. The first 25 questions are from the U.S. government. Based on watching my parents deal with retired military medical care from the U.S. government, I think I can state pretty definitively that the answers to those 25 questions will be ignored.
  17. Based on # 16, I think I can safely say that hospital operations are probably going to get worse after answering their questions.
  18. I can actually hear my taxes going up, because of # 16 and # 17.
  19. The redundant questions? Yeah, those were from the U.S. government. See # 18.
  20. I’m all out of opinions, except that I am still smiling sadistically. See # 14.

 

Tomorrow’s Post: MaryAnn’s Hospital Survey…..bwahahahhaha

You might also like: Lessons Learned from Recuperating, Lessons Learned from Heart Attacks 3 & 4, Lessons Learned from the “Woman’s” Exam Day