Growing up somewhat close to the University of Notre Dame, I spent a lot of time with Catholics. In fact I dated all Catholics (including one who was training to be a priest) until I finally found the one non-Catholic man in Indiana. Thus, this protestant preacher’s kid went to a lot of masses and Catholic weddings. My equally protestant mother also enjoyed watching the suspense caused whenever a new pope was to be selected during the cardinals’ conclave. I’m afraid I’ve succumbed to her “illness,” too. Since I have only known of 5 popes during my lifetime (including Pope Francis) and I am no “spring chicken”, the reality is that we probably should be paying some attention to each conclave. The election of a new pope does affect a rather large portion of the world’s population. Unfortunately for the Catholic community, I have known just a few too many crazy Catholics and so, I feel no obligation to be completely reverent about pontifical poetry. My apologies to God, Pope Francis, and my Catholic friends. After this, they will probably be my former Catholic friends.

The rare has happened,
A papal resignation
That has led to reason speculation.
Because of too many scandal seasons?
Or because of aging health reasons?
No matter what the trouble,
The Sistene Chapel is still far from rubble
And seems like a majestic setting
To drink Italian espresso
And celebrate ego less so.

To elect a new pope
You have to wear a dress
Which might cause distress
To an ordinary male witness
And the only sign of a decision
Is smoke with questionable color division

This method was first thought
By the Vatican distraught,
Who felt cardinals should elect a new pope
In less time than it takes for a spinster
To regain matrimonial hope.
So, they locked up those gentlemen,
Who had little papal acumen,
And gave them sparse nutrition
And little religious hydration.
And presto!
A quick election
With minimal additional frustration.

So, here is my question,
For our national consternation
Why haven’t we locked up our Congress
To fix our governmental budget mess?
It hasn’t been attempted
Because we know them all too well
They’d rather not jell or budget fight quell,
And most would rather drown
Before getting caught wearing a gown.

Experts are now saying that one way we could prevent meteors from wreaking havoc on our planet is to use…a death star. No, I’m not making this up. Next, they will be telling us that Luke Skywalker is running for President in 2016. I can see it now…Light Sabers at the party convention! And at the convention party. 😉 So, since I came of age in the 1970’s and happened to inflict my kids with the same love of all things Star Wars, here’s a little reprise of a note I wrote on FB upon the re-release of Star Wars in 3D:

1. You only think you know who your father is.

2. Once you allow someone to put your hair in braided concentric circles around your ears, you will be forever labeled a bit of a nut case. Even if your mom and dad are a tad famous.

3. There are cowboys in galactic space warring. Chief among them is Harrison Ford. And I love cowboys.

4. The force is with you…if you can lift a spaceship in a swamp.

5. Talking backward….wise, you will sound.

6. If your name is Jar Jar, you belong in a jar…with the lid tightly screwed, to prevent escape.

7. I would have needed GPS to avoid crashing into trees in those airborne motorcycles in Return of the Jedi. And even then, I’m not promising much.  I would have been Ewok kibble, for sure.

8. If you want to catch all the one-liners in Star Wars, take your childhood best buddy with you. You’ll giggle your head off. Probably because she likes to add a few one-liners of her own.

9. If you want to watch someone’s eyes bug out watching that ship pass right over your head in the theater, take the eldest DS, who now understands why it’s not quite the same on DVD.

10.  George Lucas should be in charge of the U.S. government. If nothing else, he will be able to conjure up enough special effects to make us think something was actually accomplished.

11. The creatures in the bar strangely resemble my memories of…people I met in college. At a bar. And not in a good way. This might be why I don’t go to bars much anymore.

12. Darth has a really bad allergist. Anyone who can’t control their asthma better than that should be kicked out of the AMA.

13. Never give your two DS‘s light sabers. I learned to move all the lamps out of the living room.

14. You can be around your brother for years…and not know it. See # 1.

15. Karate suits look better with boots.

16. You never know when you might not actually be in a cave.

17. In the future, all cities will have dirt streets again.  Maybe because we’re all racing around voluminous rocky “mountains” in midair.  But people still walk on these dirt streets. Hmmmm…..

18. A huge mechanical-looking orb will be called a star. What? (And will now defend our planet against those nasty invaders called meteors.)

19. Never fight on a narrow walkway with asthma patients. See # 12.

20. The mean guy you know today will be a piece of cake to defeat tomorrow. Because…tomorrow you meet the next mean guy and he looks way crazier than the last guy.  And he has a red face with horns.

With you, the force will be…if you go to the movies this weekend. 🙂

Point to Ponder Challenge: What idea is lurking in your head that you think is a little preposterous, at least in the eyes of the world? Is it really that preposterous or does it just need some tweaking? What would need to happen to find out how to tweak it? Put those steps on paper or in your planner and make at least one happen this week!

Tomorrow’s Post: A Slow Reader at the Cross Roads…

Scanning is a good thing, normally. It’s what got me through college and grad school. But, this is not one of those times. Please read (at least) Part 1 of this series to understand the following:

1. Think you can miss 14 years of your life?  Here’s what happened during the last 14 of mine:  The eldest DS graduated from High School and College.  He made the Dean’s List and has a full-time job now.  The DD graduated from high school and college.  She got engaged.  She got married.  The DSL graduated from high school  and college, too. The DD got a full ride into grad school. The LSH and I celebrated our 20^th, 25^th, and 30th anniversaries.  I went to Europe with the LSH.  I was a bridesmaid again.  All 3 of my kids got their driver’s licenses.  I eulogized my mom and dad at their funerals.  I lost several aunts and uncles.  I lost my best friend.  I walked 60 miles in 3 days to celebrate and honor her life.  I completed a master’s degree.  I gave up a great job to help 50+ of the best students at our town’s university.  I passed the National Licensing Exam for counselors. I went to Alaska with the LSH. I have a “sea” of adopteds that I would give my life up for anytime, any place. We discovered that the eldest DS has ADD.  We discovered that the youngest DS has Sensory Processing Disorder, is gifted and has vision focusing problems.  The youngest DS got into his favorite college. We’ve ordered his HS graduation announcements. In other words, I’m glad I stuck around, even on the bad days.
2. Here’s what’s on the docket for the next 14, God willing:  The DD and DSL will welcome a healthy child into their home and I’ll get to spoil that kid rotten (The DD and DSL do not get a choice about this!); the eldest DS will find the woman of his dreams and advance his career; I will be successful blogging and finally publish a book; the youngest DS will graduate from high school and college and find the woman of his dreams; the LSH and I will celebrate our 35^th, 40^th, and 45th anniversaries; we will watch another several adopteds get married; we will watch a few more nieces and nephews get married.  In other words, embrace the barbell, even on the bad days.
3. You are not replaceable.  God put you here because He has a mission for you that only you can complete.  Don’t kid yourself.
4. I care about you even when you think you are unworthy of such care.  I care about you even when you think I’m not looking.  I may just be a little busy holding my barbell to show you that, and still working on yanking out my selfish weeds.

Point to Ponder Challenge # 1: What happened in the last 14 years of your life? Make a list. What is likely to happen in the next 14 years of your life? Make another  list.What needs to change so you can be around for that second list? Start working on THAT list today. 

Point to Ponder Challenge # 2: Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” What events took place in your lifetime only because of your presence for those events? What else do you want to “make happen” in the next decade? What is the first step to making at least one of those things happen?

Tomorrow’s Post: What really causes heart attacks

Today the Bible fell open to 2 Chronicles 7. Here are a few verses that jumped out at me today: “Solomon completed building The Temple of God and the royal palace…the projects he had set his heart on doing. Everything was done–success! Satisfaction….God appeared to Solomon that very night and said,…”I have chosen this place as a temple for sacrifice, a house of worship….I’ll be there ready for you: I’ll listen from Heaven…From now on, I’m alert day and night to the prayers offered at this place. Believe me, I’ve chosen and sanctified this Temple that you have built: My name is stamped on it forever; my eyes are on it and my heart in it always.” (The Message)

Somewhere I recall reading that after Jesus died for us, our earthly bodies became temples for God, because if we accept this fact, then God lives in us. So now apply that to what I just wrote down above. He has chosen our bodies for sacrifice and worship and when we are seeking God in our bodies, He is with us, ready to listen…He’s alert all the time to our prayers. He has stamped His name on us forever and He is ever watching us and over us and His heart is in us always.

WAY cool. This does not mean that we shouldn’t go to our local churches on Sunday, but it does mean worship and attentiveness to God can happen anywhere because we have “portable temples” (very appropriate for an iPod generation) and that, when we build ourselves according to God’s building code, he is there ready to listen and to be with us even when we feel the most alone.

Gotta go do some temple building…the projects I have my heart set on doing for the wonderful feeling of success and satisfaction…a little exercise…a little sacrifice/service…a little worship of a truly cool living God. Do hard hats and treadmills go together?

Point to Ponder: In what areas of your life is the “temple” only partially built? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? What activities could you undertake today to further build your temple? Exercise for 30 minutes or more? Eat right? Read a thought-provoking book? Permit yourself to fully feel the effects of a past or current event? Read your Bible? Get ‘er done! 🙂

Tomorrow’s post: Lessons Learned from Two Heart Attacks Too Soon