Today they all dress up
And face that final “line-up”
And then they seriously march
In shoes with actual arch.

While they may want to party and romp
They have to walk to a song with lots of pomp,
And then they listen to lots and lots of speeches
About what the future should teach us.

They file onto a portable stage
With hopes of getting that historic page
They shake a lot of graduated hands
Then hear from their dearest fans.

They sit back in their seats
And long to gaze at their academic feats
But their emotions start to “tank”
When they realize their folders are blank.

So, all those years of hard work
Can make people go a little berserk
Because they didn’t really get a diploma
But only a commencement speech-induced coma.

Congratulations to the Class of 2013…Lucky ’13, right?!

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We go to church twice
Once shortly after sunrise
And once after sundown
Despite adolescent protesting cries.

In the second one
There will be blue “gowns”
And funny-looking hats
With golden tassels
Swaying this way and that.

The persons wearing this
Unusual Attire
Will probably look annoyed,
Bored, and about to Perspire.

The rest of the crowd
Will be dressed in their finest
And still smile broadly even when
The robed crowd is whiniest.

The name of the occasion
Is also pretty extraordinary
And is probably named that,
To make atheists less wary.

But the fact remains
Despite all the nonsense
That God has brought success
To teens who are now a lot less tense.

And so we acknowledge
The Power that blesses
And hope that those children
Don’t displace their perfectly-combed tresses.

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