Politician perks

Several of the “adopteds” are September babies, including my very own oldest child. Thus, September has become a favorite month for me. Here are some reasons, according to holidayinsight.com, why you might want to celebrate birthdays as opposed to these occasions:

September 1st – Emma Nutt Day (1st woman phone operator)  – So glad her name wasn’t Squirrel.

September 3rd – Skyscraper Day – We have so many of those here in Podunk, USA.

September 4th – Newspaper Carrier Day – I plan to throw newsprint in my holly bushes this day.

September 5th – Be Late for Something Day – And that would be why I’m writing this a few hours before “deadline.” If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you. It’s near a skyscaper.

September 5th – Cheese Pizza Day – Is it legal to add pepperoni? If so, I’m never late for pizza.

September 6th – Fight Procrastination Day – Ummm….is it counterintuitive to have this day after “Be Late for Something Day”? What’s next–Paradox Day?

September 7th – Neither Rain Nor Snow Day – I plan on making it snow…in September…in Texas.

September 8th – National Date Nut Bread – Whew! That’s a relief. My dates were about to go bad.

September 9th – Teddy Bear Day – Young mothers everywhere are thinking, “Thanks a lot! One more thing to squeeze in the voluminous diaper bag.”

September 10th – Sewing Machine Day – Maybe I should blow the dust off of mine this day?

September 11th – Make Your Bed Day – This means I don’t have to make it the other 364 days, right?

September 12th – National Video Games Day – The youngest celebrates this every day. *sigh*

September 13th – Defy Superstition Day – I’ve already scheduled a date with a black cat for this day.

September 14th – National Cream-Filled Donut Day – I suppose having a jelly-filled donut is a no-no.

September 15th – Make a Hat Day – Don’t tell Pharrell Williams.

September 16th – Collect Rocks Day – I will put mine in a box and sell them as pets.

September 17th – National Apple Dumpling Day – Shouldn’t September 26th  precede this day???

September 18th – National Cheeseburger Day – An excuse for Crack Fries at Mickey’s D! Yessssss.

September 19th – International Talk Like a Pirate Day – Remind me to find me eye patch. Arr.

September 20th – National Punch Day – I sure hope this is the drink kind.

September 21st – Miniature Golf Day – Otherwise known as “Hit the Windmill” Day.

September 22nd – Elephant Appreciation Day – I plan to remember something a full 5 seconds.

September 23rd – Dog in Politics Day – Maizie for President! Rawhides and frisbees for everyone.

September 24th – National Cherries Jubilee Day – I need more reasons to start fires in my kitchen.

September 25th – National Comic Book Day – Should I post a pic of me as Wonder Woman this day? They don’t make enough Spanx for that.

September 26th – Johnny Appleseed Day – You’ll need more apple trees for apple dumplings.

September 27th – Crush a Can Day – Let’s give guys more reasons to give themselves a concussion.

September 28th – Ask A Stupid Question Day – Would dogs as politicians do a better job than the current ones? Oh. Wait. That was a smart question.

September 29th – Confucius Day – Confucius say, “Improve life by electing dogs as politicians.”

September 30th – National Mud Pack Day – Not to be confused with National Backpack Day.

Monday’s Post: Do roosters cock-a-hoop?

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