I think there was a dog at my human home before I got here. I thought maybe the dog was still here, but I have looked for that dog everywhere, using my best sniffing, and can’t find that food-stealing dog anywhere.

But here’s why I think she might still be here–When I’m not looking, my food disappears each night and doesn’t return until morning. So that dog has to be taking it when I’m asleep. I don’t know how that dog goes without sleep, but since my human mommy and daddy are asleep at the same time, I know it has to be that sneaky, daytime-sleeping dog.

I think the dog is a female because once in a while, the human mommy and daddy call me “Maizie.” And they get mad if I don’t answer to that name. I don’t know why they do that, but they usually apologize and call me Trinity or Trin and pet my head afterwards.

And boy, oh boy! If I mess up my doggie bed, I hear about it. That Maizie dog must have slept on it, because I can smell her there. But I kinda like her smell–it reminds me of my doggie family.

I really got into trouble when I chewed up a marker on it and it put black spots on that bed. When I’m a bad girl, I have to go to “time out” in my crate. When the Mommy person gets mad at me (She doesn’t appreciate my confetti-making ability yet, particularly if I choose to use her shoes, photos and magazines as confetti-making materials.), she says, “CRATE!” and that means I have to go to this very plain, uncomfortable box-type thing.

I’m getting used to it, though. I spend a lot of time there, since the Mommy person says CRATE a lot. Sometimes, I even go in there on my own, just to give me a little space from these humans.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to get away from them? They keep calling me the wrong name! Is there a place where you can trade in your Mommy and Daddy people for newer models?

I think I could do better, honestly.