During one of my Early to Rise mornings this thought entered my brain: Jesus is a nomad. Such thoughts are not usual for me early in the morning. The usual thought at 5 am is, “Where is my coffee?” Thus, I paid attention to this thought.

I let that thought roll around in my head for a long time. Okay. It was 10 minutes, tops. But, that was long enough for me to realize why God put that thought into my head, as opposed to the usual coffee addiction thought.

If Jesus is a nomad, then following Him is going to be a royal pain. Why?

Because being a nomad means that the direction of where I’m going will change frequently. There won’t be much predictability about it and therefore, it will also be a pain for my family and friends.

A nomad has the freedom to “go where the action is.” That sounds awesome until you realize that Jesus was willing to so go where the action is that He died on a cross. Not exactly what I hope will happen to me if I follow Him.

In other words it probably means some self-sacrifice. Maybe more than some. And that just scares me. So much so, that I’m being a big baby about it and doing everything in my power to avoid what I think God is asking me to do.

Beginning last fall I started to get the inkling that God was calling me in a different direction. And by that, I don’t just mean starting a nonprofit counseling center, although following Jesus through that process has definitely meant some self-sacrifice for me and my family.

I was hoping I was wrong. Now, I doubt that I am.

I constantly have an internal “tug-of-war” battle inside regarding what it really means to follow Jesus. On the one hand I believe that God gifts us with some abilities merely because His kingdom needs that skill or talent. So, one could argue very effectively that to follow God means to just use those natural talents and skills to their nth degree. For me that would include writing.

When I’m writing, I’m happiest. And that has been a recent discovery for me. Thus, I’m not wild about other things creeping in on my writing time…even mundane things like making my bed and doing the laundry.

On the other hand one could also argue that to follow God means to “bear your cross.” And that wherever Jesus wants to take you while on his nomadic odysseys may include sleeping on rocks, living without room service, and packing up your tent on a rather regular basis.

I prefer writing in my pjs while comfortably perched atop my Tempur-pedic mattress, thank you very much.

Even though sleeping in a tent may not thrill me, I do realize that bearing my cross and following Jesus usually leads to some pretty cool things–like getting a front-row seat while God works on souls via some pretty awesome counselors. It’s like watching an NCAA Final Four game, the Super Bowl and the Wimbledon championships all rolled into one.

Consequently, I should probably go where He wants me to go, even if that means abandoning some of my writing aspirations. And that is not easy, because I’ve been absolutely convinced that He wants me to also write.

And yes, I’m pretty sure the new nomadic adventure will really hurt my writing time. So much so that I may be forced to abandon MIP and writing a book that I feel adamantly should be written.

Perhaps He’s saying that I need further “field experience” to write that blog and book? Perhaps I was wrong about writing? Perhaps I am holding on too tightly to my current schedule? Perhaps I have attachments to things that are not godly? Perhaps this is not the right “season” for my writing activities?

Lots to ponder…that’s for sure. As my faithful MIP blogstalkers know, I have had to start and stop this blog repeatedly due to God taking me directions I had no intention of going. And that just flies in the face of smart blogging. Everything I read about blogging says one should be consistent in the blogging arena. I am anything but consistent at this point! And I am really disappointed in myself about that.

So, what to do? I’ve learned, often the hard way (because I’m ridiculously selfish, lazy and stubborn) that the best way to embrace something scary is to do it in “pieces.” Start with one thing that your mind and soul can handle in that scary direction and just focus on that. For me, that means doing research. I’m doing a lot of investigating these days.

Then, work on the next least scary part of the equation and see if God seems to “open doors” rather willingly. If He does, then you’re probably following that dusty, sandal-wearing, tent-dweller from Nazareth.

Are you His nomad, too? 🙂

Friday’s Post: To fleece or not to fleece…that is the question…

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