Geez, Louise….I really had to wrestle that keyboard out of the Mom person’s hands today. I mean…I shook my head and everything and she still wouldn’t let go of it. What is with her and that keyboard anyway?! I just wanted to reassure all of you that I hadn’t disappeared from my stellar writing career and tell you about my favorite toothpicks. I love this time of year because it’s when I get a lot of my toothpicks.

The Mom person has been going outside this week to take the toothpicks off the winged invaders’ homes. Unlike human toothpicks, these toothpicks have soft green things on them that I think are rather annoying. They get in the way of me creating toothpicks the way I like them.

I mean, these toothpicks are so large that they would never get my snacks out from between my teeth. I have to break them down into smaller pieces to get them to fit and this is a time-consuming process as it is, so having to pull those soft green things off of them is a pain!

The mom person keeps taking my toothpicks to this big pile of stuff in the back yard. I have no earthly reason why–she’s just weird.

If I try to stop the Mom person from taking them to the back yard, she gets mad at me. The nerve of this woman! Those toothpicks are for me and she’s not doing anything with them, so why is she getting so ticked about it??? Grrr…..

I have outfoxed her, though. I lay down very patiently about 3 body lengths away from that pile and when she returns to the winged invaders’ home to get more toothpicks, I just go over to the pile, survey the selection and pick the one with the least soft green things.

If she starts to come back to the back yard, I lay down again. Shhhh….don’t tell her my secret.

I think she’s getting wise to me, though. She pulled a soft green thing out of my mouth today. I will have to nap on my pillow and come up with a better plan next time. Maybe if I bury the toothpicks??? Excuse me…I need to go dig a really, really big hole.

Monday’s Post: Have you divorced a cathedral lately?

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