I’m a chronic viewer of the CBS series, “Survivor.” When the kids were younger, it was often a family event to watch it together. If you watch that series for any length of time, undoubtedly, you will ponder the following question: Could I be a strong contender and live in the barren wilderness for 39 days without any creature comforts? I, long ago, decided that I would fail miserably playing Survivor simply because I want everyone to get along and if you deprive me of food, a migraine results and then I get just plain grouchy. When I get grouchy, any semblance of a “filter” for my mouth goes right out the window. (My family is saying, “You have a filter????”)

And even if I managed to be on the winning team a lot and we had great hunters and fisher folk on the team, I would be grouchy for another reason: I’m getting old and I like my stuff. I know it’s not “politically correct” for a Christian to say that–I’m supposed to need nothing but Heaven and a relationship with God, but the truth is, I sure do hope Heaven includes my favorite things. And thus, I am starting a new feature here at MIP on Fridays: My Favorite Things.

Hopefully, this feature will put a smile on your face and if you don’t have something I rave about, prompt you to think about putting it on your real or fantasy wish list. No, I’m not getting paid to review these items. I just know that I often add such items to my life because of what a friend or family member told me about their use of the same item. I promise to give you the good, the bad, the ugly and the silly about each item and then let you weigh in, too through your comments.

Most of my favorite things have entered my life one of two ways: My hubby bought it or it became a “marital issue.” When I say it became a “marital issue,” I mean that if we don’t do something about it soon, the hubby and I are going to need marriage counseling. And since I doubt this counselor will ever get the hubby to a counselor, that means buying something.

One marital issue involved sleeping arrangements with the hubby. We started out married life with a water bed. That was great for him and lousy for me. Why? Because he’s considerably larger than I am, so he felt like he slept in a comfy hammock while I felt like I was doing a back bend the whole night. Since I’m not a contortionist nor Olga Korbut, this was no fun. So, my brother- and sister-in-law gave us their old conventional double bed. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

That bed had seen better days and was my sister-in-law’s childhood bed, too. Thus, when the hubby and I went to bed at night, we both rolled to the center where she had apparently slept her whole childhood. Now, you would think this would be fine for both of us as newlyweds, but the hubby had a mean snore in those days, so listening to a sound that resembled a herd of elephants trumpeting their disdain for all mankind right next to my ear was not exactly sleep-inducing.

Next stop? A new queen-sized mattress and box spring. This worked well for us until the last 10 years. At that point two things changed for us: The hubby was on the road more and more for work and we both battled more arthritis. Now why would that mean a mattress change, you ask?

Since we sleep apart more than we sleep together these days, we have both developed a tendency to hog the middle of the aforementioned queen-sized bed, along with the corresponding covers. Since the hubby is still somewhat bigger than me, this means I usually wind up clinging to the side of the bed in the hopes that I won’t be thrashed by my hubby’s ever-moving arthritic parts. If he is wonderfully still, my own arthritic hips wake me from a sound sleep and I am up searching my purse for Aleve in the middle of the night. By the time the Aleve has fully taken effect, I am wide awake. No bueno, sports fans.

Then, the hubby invited me on one of his business trips and we stayed in a hotel with a Tempur-Pedic mattress. At first I wasn’t sure I was going to like this concept, since the bed felt a little on the firm side to me, but when I woke up 8 hours later in the same position, I realized I was so, so wrong! I felt absolutely wonderful the next day because I was so well rested! When I returned to the ol’ queen-sized bed at home, I was, again, miserable and consuming Aleve.

Anyone who has ever priced these comfy mattresses already knows “they ain’t cheap.” So, we priced the “clones.” Thankfully, a good friend told us they had purchased a clone and it was a miserable experience for them. They recommended swallowing hard and paying for the real deal. Other friends echoed the same sentiment. Thus, we saved our pennies (almost literally in those days!) and bought a king-sized mattress, the accompanying box spring and 2 pillows.

Our set was delivered in January. Big mistake! Why? Because memory foam mattresses “harden” in the cold and new Tempur-Pedic mattresses need time to “relax” when first unpacked and put in place. The first week I thought we had made one very expensive mistake! But as time went on, I loved it more and more and now, wouldn’t be without it.

The bigger size allows each of us to “sleep in the middle” without disrupting the other. Plus, the structure of memory foam prevents the need to move a lot in bed and even when moving, it doesn’t shake the rest of the mattress as conventional mattresses do.

What I didn’t anticipate is that I would no longer feel the need to get up and take Aleve. In fact in a few months of use, I never had to take it again for arthritis! It even seemed to help when I was sitting in one place for long periods of time, like driving across the state of Texas or during long airline flights. I attribute some of this to also exercising more regularly, but I did exercise regularly before the bed arrived and still had arthritis issues.

A few years later the youngest son proclaimed his older brother’s handed-down bed “shot” in the mattress department. We decided it made sense to replace that bed with a queen-sized Tempur-pedic when we compared the cost to pillow top mattresses and the clones. Why? By that time Tempur-Pedic made a cheaper alternative with a shorter warranty (five years less). Since we knew his bed would ultimately be the “guest room bed,” and wouldn’t be slept in all the time, we decided it was worth the gamble. The result?

I have to kick the youngest son out of it when he’s home from college despite new mattresses in his room! And last year my mother-in-law (who suffers from chronic back pain) so loved it that she went home and purchased the adjustable version for her own use! Her back felt much better after sleeping on one. Now, every member of the family has one, including my brother.

And that brings me to another point that is worth considering when purchasing: These mattresses and box springs are very heavy. For a petite person like myself, it can get interesting picking the corners of the mattress by myself to change sheet sets. But now, I’m used to it and probably have better arm muscles as a result.

Think you may want to save your pennies for one? Here’s the bottom line of things to consider:

1. Don’t purchase in cold weather. Wait until at least spring and don’t purchase after fall.

2. Try out all the different Tempur-Pedic models in the store. You may be surprised that you like a lower-cost version over a higher-priced version. We picked a “middle-priced” model.

3. If cost is a concern, wait for at least a 0% financing deal. I don’t believe in going into debt for one of these. Pay it off early if you can and pay on time!

4. If free pillows aren’t an option when you buy, they may offer a free sheet set. I found that deep pocket “regular” sheet sets work just fine and are cheaper.

5. If free pillows are an option, try them out and decide if you like them. Some people don’t!

6. Don’t purchase if you intend to put them on a four-poster bed frame or other kind of frame that will make it difficult for you to put on fitted sheets due to the heaviness of the mattress. I chose a footboard for ours with a lower profile so that the top of the mattress was clearly above the top of the footboard by several inches to make it easier to reach the bottom of the mattress. Even better would be to go without the footboard if you can.

7. If you have kids, expect “visitors” in your new bed. 🙂

Your thoughts?

Monday’s Post: Are you froward? (And no, that’s not a typo!)

You Might Also Like: The Odd Days of October, Lessons I Probably Shouldn’t Have Learned at Women of Faith, What My Cell Phone Says About Me, and The Odd Days of September 

Grab a cup of pumpkin coffee and enjoy the following from holidayinsights.com:

October 1st – World Vegetarian Day – Please tell me we don’t eat vegetarians on this day.

October 2nd – Name Your Car Day – That took about 5 seconds. Woo. Hoo.

October 3rd – Virus Appreciation Day – No, I’m not making these up.

October 4th – International Frugal Fun Day – I’m laying odds some Scot dreamed this one up. Does this mean going to garage sales to buy rusty chicken wire?

October 5th – Do Something Nice Day – Please tell me there is no “Do Something Evil Day.”

October 6th – Mad Hatter Day – Shouldn’t this coincide with the Kentucky Derby??? Now, where is my looking glass when I need it?

October 7th – Bald and Free Day – Does this mean that my hair costs money? Oh, wait. Never mind. Just found the bill for my latest perm.

October 8th – American Touch Tag Day – Tag. You’re it. As “it,” be careful who you touch!

October 9th – Moldy Cheese Day – Maybe celebrate this by throwing it out? Just a thought.

Warning: Get your favorite beverage first. 

I am a relatively recent convert to the whole smart phone concept. I really liked my razor phone. It was pretty and I never once butt-dialed with it. It fit very discreetly in my jeans pocket, so that I could tell when it was ringing, even if I was in the world’s most boring meeting. I was a fairly proficient T9 texter, too, thanks to 3 teenagers who rarely talk on their phones–only text.

But, it finally became a huge inconvenience not to have the ability to access email and the internet on my razor, so I finally gave it up and got an Android smart phone. If the thing could talk (and no, I prefer only to hear the voices in my head and not Siri’s), it might tell you this:

1. MaryAnn likes color-coordinated cell phone cases. Mine is red because I once had a red Explorer. I wanted the phone to match the car. Which brings me to # 2…

2. There are too many blah-colored phones in the world. In a mass of phones I can always find my red one in about 2.2 seconds.

Politician perks

Several of the “adopteds” are September babies, including my very own oldest child. Thus, September has become a favorite month for me. Here are some reasons, according to holidayinsight.com, why you might want to celebrate birthdays as opposed to these occasions:

September 1st – Emma Nutt Day (1st woman phone operator)  – So glad her name wasn’t Squirrel.

September 3rd – Skyscraper Day – We have so many of those here in Podunk, USA.

September 4th – Newspaper Carrier Day – I plan to throw newsprint in my holly bushes this day.

September 5th – Be Late for Something Day – And that would be why I’m writing this a few hours before “deadline.” If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you. It’s near a skyscaper.

September 5th – Cheese Pizza Day – Is it legal to add pepperoni? If so, I’m never late for pizza.

In my tiny town we have no Target. We barely have department stores–the ones we have are “economy-sized”. And trendy clothes stores are few and far between. There is no Container Store, to my dismay. And we live in a college town, where the college grows by leaps and bounds each year. To add to my annual shopping misery, we happen to be the county seat for our rural county. Thus, back-to-school shoppers abound at pretty much one store–Walmart. To go to Walmart at this time of year is to invite oneself to a demolition derby of human beings. I learned a loooooooooooooong time ago that one should not get between a mother and the last wide-ruled 3-subject spiral notebook in the joint.

While I can largely avoid the school supply aisle now that my kids are all past adolescence, one college student remains. And if you think it’s painful to shop for 3 elementary or junior high school students at this time of year, wait until you see what a college student now requires!

A chart from 101.5 WBNQ in Bloomington, IL has been making the rounds on Facebook lately. It is the inspiration for today’s post. Read below and see if this sounds like anyone you know:

At my house you might as well just replace First with my oldest’s name; Middle with the daughter’s name and Last with my youngest’s name. So, that got me to thinking…What would the world look like if my 3 ran the world? Here are my suspicions:

1. We would be the most organized world ever. That oldest child of mine has been alphabetizing the sizable video collection for eons….voluntarily. The middle child would know the value of a color-coded planning system. The youngest would make it much more creative and fun (much to the annoyance of his brother and sister).

2. We would be a compassionate world, where the most desperate would know they have a friend who will help them overcome their obstacles. The middle child has always seen every person as a valued friend or future friend. Even my strict oldest seems to find time for the down and out.

Book Club Lovers: I am recommending The One Thing by Gary Keller to business people, relatives and friends. Start reading it today, if you haven’t already!

Top Mommy Blog Update: MIP is currently # 6 in the “Everything Else” category! Thank you, my faithful readers! If you like this post, please click on the Top Mommy Blog “button” to the right of this post. Thanks again! I adore you ALL!

Note: Special thanks to fellow Mom Blogger, Natasha J at the Tiny Tots Adventure blog for the inspiration for this post!

It has long been my mantra that NO ONE ever talks about parent abuse, aka the ways our children and teens are such professionals at knowing exactly what “buttons” to push to irritate the stuffing out of us. I don’t condone child abuse, but I sure understand how it happens.

I once remember putting the oldest back in his crib screaming at the top of his lungs and walking out of his room late at night because nothing I was doing to console him was working and my sleep-deprived nerves were fraying like a 14 year old pair of cutoffs. It was either deposit him back into his crib or shake the living tar out of him. Since I knew the latter might land me in prison (where I might be able to get some uninterrupted sleep…hmmm), I had to walk away and find my brain again. (That only took 78 minutes.)

I thought that was the worst part of parenting. I was wrong. Potty-training was worse. Thus, since my 3 had me so well-abused by the time they hit puberty, I started learning how to retaliate or at least dream of ways I could torture them. It allowed me to survive having 3 teenagers at once. So, here are my Top 10 Ways to Get Even with a Teenager:

10. Cut their iPod/iPhone charging cords in half when they’re at school. Tell them the mice chewed it in half, thinking it was part of the leftover marshmallows in their room.

9. Say you’re taking them to the new sci-fi movie and then actually take them to a barber who specializes in bowl cuts.

8. Remove the window “apparel” from their room in the middle of the night and then put a spotlight outside their bedroom window, pointing toward their beds.

7. Put a note under their pillow in tiny writing that says, “I’m the tooth fairy and your teeth are so vile. I want a full refund. You owe me $ 40.00. (That includes interest.)”

6. Take their favorite stuffed animal to school and ask the school secretary to page them to pick up “Binky Bear” from the main office.

5. Wear a t-shirt with a baby picture on it labeled with, “Taking applications for who dates this handsome guy/girl.”

4. Remove their cell phone, computer, TV, iPod, video game console, and video games from their room and have a garage sale with those items with a 5 am start time the next day.

3. Post the homework that DIDN’T yield an A on your refrigerator and then invite all of their friends over for a surprise party.

2. Put a large, pink, lavender-scented air freshener in your son’s car (Hang it from the rear view mirror.) and his sweaty gym locker clothes in his sister’s car the night before the prom.

1. Not only hug them, but plant a big one on their cheeks, wearing 12-hour red lipstick. Do this in front of the varsity quarterback/head cheerleader.

Bwahahahaha.

Suggestions? Additions? Submit them below.

Monday’s Post: Do you need a diktat?

You Might Also Like: What My Purse Says About Me; The Odd Days of August; and Lessons Learned from Buying 3 Homes

Warning: You might want two of your favorite beverages. 

Around the time we were down to just needing a diaper change when in transit with the eldest son, I concluded that my late 20s and 30s were going to be without the “cute purse.” In fact I would wager that I could tell you what age bracket a woman is in just by looking at her purse. If she has the small, cute purse or no purse at all, she’s probably in her teens or 20s. If she has the large, non-sectioned purse, she’s probably in her 20s and 30s. If she has the large, sectioned purse, she’s probably in her 40s or 50s. If she has a mid-sized sectioned purse, she’s probably in her 60s or 70s and I’ll lay odds that purse is beige or black.

About the time that I thought I could return to the “cute purse” phase of my life, something else happened to forever end that phase of my life: the heart attacks. The heart attacks require that I keep my heart meds with me at all times. And I take more than just a few heart pills, sadly. But that’s not where the traveling meds end: I also have major allergies and chronic migraines. Thus, I usually travel with a wide assortment of allergy and pain reliever pills. Just to make life interesting, I also carry an epi-pen and nitroglycerine just so TSA can have some major fun with a graying, Anglo-Saxon middle-classed mom whenever I fly anywhere. The meds will be in an ancient ziploc bag. I learned to put them in there and zip it up, because one bottle will inexplicably lose its lid (even if tightened enough to keep an Ebola virus out) and spill all over the bottom of my purse, which I refer to as The Abyss. The Abyss is remarkably similar to a black hole.

Because of heart attacks 3 and 4, I now carry a very large pill bottle that gives my medical history. This is in case I’m in an accident or one of my crazy conditions causes me to be unconscious somewhere publicly. (Such a nice, pleasant, relaxing thought, right?) So, a major part of my purse is dedicated to keeping my crazy body running while en route to do local errands or to survive transcontinental travel, so much so that the daughter has proclaimed my purse “the walking pharmacy.” It’s not that far from the truth.

Then there are the inevitable, multiple packs of tissue for when my nose decides to go bonkers even if I have taken the allergy meds and had an allergy shot recently. My body, on all counts, is very unpredictable, so I have to come equipped for all contingencies.

I also suffer from chronic bad breath. Trust me–I’ve tried multiple ways to keep my breath reasonable, but to no avail. Therefore, I usually have multiple packs of Orbit gum circulating throughout the deep recesses of my purse. Why multiple packs? Because my hubby invariably wants 2 pieces every time we are together and I think it’s kind of tacky not to offer gum to those in close proximity. One can buy a “3-pack” of the stuff, so I just unwrap the 3 pack and throw all 3 in my purse. That usually guarantees that I can find at least 1 pack no matter what. Of course, it’s usually the pack with only 1 stick of gum left and of course, that usually goes to the hubby. My mother-in-law refers to such preparedness as “social security.” Probably far more reliable than me counting on the governmental version.

Next are the indicators of my advanced age (as if all of the above weren’t enough evidence of that). I usually carry two pairs of sunglasses and two pairs of reading glasses. Why? Because I usually can’t find one pair of either when suffering from Pre-heimers or Half-heimers. I can almost guarantee that all 4 pairs will have terrible scratches and be dirty. Why? Because I buy cheap pairs of both and because I’m too lazy to put them in their accompanying case. Heck, I usually can’t even find the case. Why would I be able to find the case if I can’t find the glasses that are supposed to go in the case??? And they’re always dirty because I forget to put the cleaning solution wipes in my purse. *Sigh*

The outside pocket will no doubt carry my ever-growing key ring. I suppose it could be worse–I could have a pile of key cards instead. You can tell whether I’m wearing the trendy jeans or the grandma jeans by where my phone is located. If in the pocket with the pile of keys, I’m wearing the trendy jeans with pockets not large enough to satisfy an ant. If it’s missing from the purse key pocket, that means it’s in my left back pocket of my jeans (I seldom hear my phone on time–another sign of aging–so having it on Vibrate is almost essential.), so that I can know when the sucker is vibrating from a call or notification.

In the abyss part of my purse will be the following: the glasses I can’t find; the cases for the glasses, crunched-up, gross-looking pills that magically escaped the med ziploc bag, a few stray bottle lids, 4 receipts I forgot to put into my wallet (They will be faded and crumpled, guaranteed.), 18 pens (I always have this paranoid feeling that I’m not going to have a pen when needed.), one leaking pen, one non-working pen, two shopping lists from the World War II era and a partridge in a pear tree. The latter will mean that there is bird seed dust in the abyss as well. The bird seed dust was probably purchased for a partridge that died 26 years ago.

Last but not least will be my bulging wallet. It’s also the large, economy-sized version and it’s filled with checks yet to be deposited from 4 years ago, ancient IDs that expired years ago, but are the only cute pictures of me anywhere, 4 coupons that have expired, a plethora of non-used gift cards, and 2 debit cards and 2 credit cards. Also mixed in are ancient pics of my kids and the adopteds as well as an assortment of ancient buyer cards that seldom get used as planned.

And because I’m so forgetful, the checkbooks usually reside there as well, not to mention some other items I won’t divulge here just in case I ever get ripped off! Now, I will say that both the wallet and the purse come from Charming Charlie’s, so they are as in fashion as a big purse and a big wallet are going to get.

The lady readers are all thinking, “What do you do for an evening out when you’re dressed up?” First, I live in Texas, so dressing up is a relative term, even for funerals and weddings. At first this irritated my Yankee sensibilities and then I spent a summer here and understood why! Even when I do dress up, about 1/2 the time I bring the voluminous purse, despite the fact that it shouts, “This woman will NEVER be featured in Vogue or In Style.”

The other 1/2 of the time I ditch the wallet, only bringing the essential ID and putting in enough pills in 1 small bottle to cover the evening. But even then, my voluminous sunglasses, reading glasses, car keys and tiny bit of makeup will push the limits of even the largest evening bag ever devised by man or woman. And despite trying to “downsize,” I will probably be without something I actually wind up needing for the evening, meaning that my poor, abused hubby will have to take me home from the soiree early. I’m such a fun date.

Starting to feel sorry for me? Please don’t. My purse, with all its lack of organization, has come in handy. It has kept countless migraines at bay; it has rescued many from allergies, headaches and body aches; and it has kept me out of the ER more times than I care to count. My ability to produce an umbrella, a band-aid or a ponytail holder on a moment’s notice often makes me the most popular mom at drill team competitions, recitals and soccer games.

The next time you ridicule the woman with the unmatched, unfashionable, ridiculously large purse, remember that that nasty thing just might make your life much more bearable one day. And mine keeps me blogging this kind of nonsense. 😉

Friday’s Post: My Favorite Ways to Annoy a Teenager

You Might Also Like: The Odd Days of August; Lessons Learned from Buying 3 Homes; and Lessons Learned from a Colorado Family Reunion Vacation

June and August may be the only two months in which most U.S. citizens do not participate in celebrating one particular holiday. You could argue that most of us celebrate Flag Day in June, but let’s be honest: even banks don’t recognize it as a holiday. Since August is so devoid of things to celebrate (However, in our family there are a wealth of August birthdays we will be celebrating.), may I suggest some of the following based on holidayinsights.com:

August 1st – National Raspberry Cream Pie Day (Now this needs to be a national holiday!)

August 2nd – National Mustard Day (This begs the question: Is there a National Ketchup Day? Mayo Day? Relish Day? Condiments Day?)

August 3rd – Sisters Day (Note to Big Brother: I expect presents this day.)

August 4th – U.S. Coast Guard Day (Won’t the other Armed Forces be jealous?)

August 5th – Work Like a Dog Day (You notice that no one ever says, “Work Like a Cat”???)

August 6th – Wiggle Your Toes Day (This could be tricky to celebrate…particularly if you’re getting some gray hair like me.)

August 7th – National Lighthouse Day (A little tricky to celebrate if you live in Central Texas)

August 8th – National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day (I have serious concerns about the originator of this holiday’s sanity.)

August 9th – Book Lover’s Day (See…this one makes some actual sense!)

August 10th – Lazy Day (After you sneak zucchini onto porches, this day is a necessity.)

August 11th – Presidential Joke Day (Does this mean we are to make jokes about the President or he’s supposed to make jokes this day or he is a joke???)

August 12th – Middle Child Day (What if there is no Middle Child?)

August 13th – Left Hander’s Day (I guess all of us right-handed people have to “work like a dog” and the lefties get this day off?)

August 14th – National Creamsicle Day (I sense a theme with cream here. See August 1st.)

August 15th – Relaxation Day (I suppose the people who created Lazy Day were too lazy to put it together with Relaxation Day. That would have made too much sense.)

August 16th – National Tell A Joke Day (Again, why not pair this with Presidential Joke Day?)

August 17th – National Thriftshop Day (I’ve always had the need to shop in dusty places filled with out-of-style items that contain everyone else’s germs.)

August 18th – Bad Poetry Day (I suppose “Good Poetry Day” was already taken?)

August 19th – Aviation Day (This means we check our bags for free on this day, right?)

August 20th – National Radio Day (Sirius is free this day, right?)

August 21st – Senior Citizen’s Day (Well, it only makes sense after Middle Child Day.)

August 22nd – National Tooth Fairy Day (Remind me to yank out a tooth this day.)

August 23rd – Ride the Wind Day (Assuming there is some this day)

August 24th – Vesuvius Day (I always celebrate exploding volcanoes.)

August 25th – Kiss and Make Up Day (Shouldn’t this be preceded by Argument Day?)

August 26th – National Dog Day (Because we don’t spoil our dogs any other day)

August 27th – Global Forgiveness Day (Let’s explain this to North Korea and the Middle East.)

August 28th – Race Your Mouse Day (As long as they race away from my house)

August 29th – More Herbs, Less Salt Day (I find this amusing, since recent research suggests that salt is not the huge nemesis we were all told to avoid as kids.)

August 30th – Frankenstein Day (Zombie Apocalypse Day was already taken?)

August 31st – National Trail Mix Day (An excuse to eat more M & M’s, right?)

Monday’s Post: When’s Toxophilite Day?

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