Several Saturdays ago I introduced my MIP readers to the haikus of Dave Mattson. Those first brief poems were largely serious in nature. But, Dave has a wry sense of humor as well and the haikus today reflect the more silly side of his poetic offerings. And Dave? I may not be able to answer your last question, but my favorite breakfasts always have dessert: Starbucks lattes with whipped cream. ‘Nuf said.

She’s baking cookies
Olfactory seduction
Gastronomic negligee

Please no more Haiku
Its sentimentality
Demeans limericks

Don’t burden children
With the responsibility
To train their parents

Let her sleep in
Served coffee in bed; her thanks?
Is the garbage out?

Can you tell me who
Male or female would desire
Clothes named “Sag Harbor”

Spraying Pam will not
Make your long johns easier
To slide on and off

In between naps I
Lie down until the urge to
Exercise subsides

I’ve lived long enough
To learn some roads not taken
Just lead to dead ends

Why do we bless a
Toxic sneeze’s germs and yet we
Shame a harmless belch

Who declared breakfast
The one meal without dessert?
I would like to know

Monday’s Post: Not too much bosky near the Bosque…

You might also enjoy: The poetry of Dave Mattson; When East Meets West; For Boston; Espresso; Green Eggs, One Fish, The Cat in the Hat and Me

If you are truly going to call yourself a naturalized Texan woman, there is one experience you must undertake.  Nope, it’s not wearing cowboy boots (Most Texas women wear stylish flip flops 9 months of the year, my dear Yankee friends. Sorry to burst your bubble on that one.).  Nope, it’s not donning a rhinestone-studded cowboy hat.  Nope, it’s not getting “big hair.”  Nope, it’s not riding a horse or roping a calf or shooting a gun.

To be truly Texan (or in my case, the naturalized version) and a Texan woman, one must visit the vaunted, hallowed Sam Moon. For my Yankee friends, Sam Moon is basically Cheap Accessory Heaven for us lady folk down here in the Lone Star State. And it makes Claire‘s and Icing look silly.  Why?  Because Sam Moon’s stores are about 10 times the size of a typical Claire‘s or Icing store.  And there is much more there than hair dohickies (It most certainly is a word!) and jewelry at Sam Moon.  There are rows upon rows of tables of purses, tiaras, luggage and now, home goods. It’s boggling.

Until last year, I could not claim naturalized Texan status. Yep, that’s right. I had lived in Texas for 20 years and have never been to Sam Moon. But, I don’t think my first trip will be my last trip.  For the uninitiated, here is the “411” on what to expect when stepping foot in a Sam Moon:

1. Remind yourself to pick your jaw off the floor after entering.

2. Sam must be Asian. And I think everyone who works at Sam Moon‘s must be his friends and family.

3. They are serious about plastic coverings on things at Sam Moon.

4. I cannot explain our stupidity in not visiting this store when the DD had to wear an average of 4 evening gowns per year during high school.

5. If they have it in clear colors, they have it in red, pink, blue, purple, gold, cream, black and probably orange.

6. Not everything at Sam Moon is cheap. But that’s a good thing…for my wallet.

7. If you think you’re spending $ 50 at Sam Moon, you are dead wrong. Double that….at least.

8. The DD and I do not have the same taste in jewelry or purses. But, we are pretty good at spotting the things that the other does like.

9. I do recommend a “team approach” to tackling this store. See # 8. Next time, I’m bringing “backup.”

10. If you have a definite idea of what you want at Sam Moon, you’ll change that idea at least 5 times in the course of picking something out.

11. If you can walk out of Sam Moon without buying something, you are a man.

12. If you are a man and forced to accompany a woman to this store, bring War and Peace and one of those folding chairs.  Bring a drink for the cup holder. Maybe two. Snacks are probably a good idea, too.

13. There are no one-hour trips to Sam Moon.  Plan on at least two, if not three or four hours.

14. I am a sucker for a bargain.  I am a sucker for real leather purses for under $ 40, too. *sigh* (But, can I add that I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my leather handbag that is really holding up well???)

15. Don’t see something that’s your particular taste??? Who are you? Ivana???

16. If it costs more than $ 5, then it’s in the “high security area.”  And you have to buy it in order to coordinate it with other things in other parts of Sam Moon.  Those clever Asians.

17. If you want to think about your high security item, you can put it in a box and take a number coordinating with that box, so it can be retrieved later when you decide you’re an idiot if you don’t buy it.

18. Apparently, a lot of people take advantage of those boxes.

19. Those boxes are not nearly big enough. I recommend refrigerator box size.

20. They keep building more Sam Moons. And they seem to get closer and closer to my home. This is not a good thing for my wallet. I would say that it might lead to a divorce, but the PH discovered the Sam Moon luggage store.  No War & Peace necessary.

Tomorrow’s Post: Remember Mattson?

You may also like: Lessons Learned from Committing a Neatness on My Laundry Room  and Lessons Learned from my Dentist.

Eighty miles to the east
Lies a little town named West
And it’s no longer known for kolaches
It’s been drastically put to the test.

A tragedy befell them
Two days after big bombs blast
So many looked eastward
While neighbors and friends stood fast.

Not because we had no mercy
For those suffering in the East
But because our neighbors were in danger
And that means provide a feast.

And bring in lots of blankets
And scores of other things, too
Because you never know what your neighbor needs
And you refuse to give the devil his due.

And if that means you need
To donate something red
You rush to the nearest bloodmobile
And wait while you scratch your head.

For sadness is just sadness
And tears are all just tears
When tragedy strikes your town
And “front-and-centers” all your fears.

So, as we help our Texans
May Bostonians realize this
We feel the pain of your losing
And are ready to regain patriotic bliss.

Not just for this tiny place in Texas
But for runners and doctors and volunteers
Who rushed forward into “battle”
When tragedy took our peers.

Tomorrow’s Post: I need a nepenthe…

When I was a teen, I was fortunate to live in a condo complex. It had a rather nice pool where most of the complex’s teens hung out during our summer vacations. Every once in a while, we would collectively get a penchant to do cannonballs off the diving board until we could do them no longer (either that or the pool closed for the day). I was deceptively good at them, despite my small, slim profile, knowing that angle, speed and determination could yield a respectable splash. Our series of perfectly tanned, perfectly attractive lifeguards would warily eye the sizable guys preparing to unleash whale-sized splashes and I would sneak ahead of them and generally shock the distracted guard with a decent amount of chlorine-blue water. I have to say this little sneakiness delighted me, but probably irritated the stuffing out of our heated lifeguards….but, they needed cooling off (at least that was my excuse)!

That is often how I view the joy that comes from being a blessed Christian. If we are fully blessed by God, our joy should spill over, maybe even SPLASH over, into the lives of the people around us. It should come naturally, almost like breathing. If it isn’t, most likely something is amiss that needs addressing: grief, fear, fatigue, a really big “ouch”, anger, frustration or confusion.

Whatever it is, it boils down to one simple question: Do we recognize that God is there with us to direct us, heal us, encourage us, strengthen us and guide us back to that splashy kind of joy?  And then…we have to live in that trust and get on “the diving board” and take one huge running leap at God-directed, God-infused abandon and let that splash onto other people. Is that always easy at first? Nope. It takes a lot of practice, and sometimes we fail at the big splash. But, even practicing can be fun when done with those who enjoy jumping off the diving board with us.

So, as we go about our days, may we “jolt” others into knowing that God is all around us.  May we delight in when these others notice the “splash.”  Don’t forget your beach towel. Maybe bring two…for your favorite “life-guard”. 🙂

Tomorrow’s Post: West is eastward…

Miss Maizie is making it difficult to write today. (She doesn’t seem to understand blogging deadlines.) Why? Because it has been raining incessantly here in Texas for almost 3 days straight and Miss Maizie, like most ladies, really dislikes getting her “feet” wet. Being fond of the outdoors, Maizie gets her exercise and playfulness out of her system by literally barking orders at our yard’s unruly birds and squirrels and informing us loudly and energetically when joggers are going past the house. Thus, when she refuses to get her dainty paws damp, she gets the canine version of “cabin fever” and insists that we become her play toys. She will do just about anything to engage us in play. She will fetch, catch, sit, stay, jump to get kisses from the youngest DS, lay down, and bark all in the hopes of getting us to hang out with her for just a few seconds longer.

This incessant, persistent demand of my attention indicates one thing: Maizie loves her family a lot. Recent brain scans of dogs have shown that when a dog is petted  or sees their owner for the first time after an extended absence, their brain wave patterns are similar to those of a human being when seeing someone they love.

not a fan. by Kyle Idleman (And yes, the lack of capitalization and the period are deliberate. My spell-check is so confused.) asks us to consider whether we persist in spending time with God the way Maizie persists in spending time with me when it’s raining outside. In other words, when we say we’re Christians, are we fans (or admirers) of Jesus or are we followers? Fans know a lot about the object of their affection, but they don’t actually have a relationship with that person or thing. Followers actually know their favorite person and persist in being with that person. In fact they give up everything to be with that person. And they don’t really care what they lose in the process as long as they are with the person they love. How many of us would describe our relationship with Jesus in that way? Probably very few of us.

Jesus wasn’t really interested in having fans. He was interested in having followers. Thus, this is not a book for the fainthearted or the casual Christian.

But, it is a “game-changer” and well-written. It even made me laugh aloud several times. And yes, it’s changing my “game.”

At the end of this week I am off to my first writer’s conference. I expect it will be a “game-changer” for me as well. I think it’s safe to say that there will be changes coming to MIP very soon as a result of reading not a fan. and attending the conference.

You may like these changes or you may hate them. But that’s really none of my concern. My concern is to be one of Jesus’ followers. And in doing that, I may well lose everything I once hoped to achieve, including your respect and friendship. Will that make me sad? Yes, most definitely. I treasure each and every one of my readers. You all make me better, but in totally unique ways, because all of you are unique. Yes, I hope you will stick around, but I understand if you don’t. That is most certainly your choice to make.

I hope you’ll decide to read this book, too. I hope it is the “game-changer” it has been for me. I hope you are a follower and not a fan.

But, I have to go now. Maizie wants to play.

Tomorrow’s Post: I don’t think these cookies are Nestle Toll House…

The Word of the Week for last week was tutelary. Tutelary means having the guardianship of a person or a thing. So, Liesa’s guess last week was pretty close, stating that she thought it had to do with tutelage. Surely a good guardian or parent does tutelage on a regular basis. My guesses, as usual, warrant asking whether anyone ever parented or guarded me.

This week’s word is vernissage. No fair cheating, even if it is April Fool’s Day. Please submit your guesses below or send an email to me via the Contact Page.

vernissage: (ver-ni-ˈsäzh) 1. a horse named Vern doing dressage. 2. a French word for sage 3. springtime sausage 4. French vernacular (I might even be semi-serious about this one.)

Tomorrow’s Post: How now brown cow…

Serious Session Alert! Some of my FB notes do go all the way back to 2007, but this one was originally posted this past year. Since fear often immobilizes me and I think fear is the biggest reason why I don’t change in a positive way, this notion really, really helped me. I hope it does the same for you, too:

Yesterday was one of “those days.” A good deal of it was due to my tendency to make an entire mountain range out of one molehill. Okay, so maybe it was more like one anthill. But, have you seen the anthills in Texas??? Some of them are bigger than any old molehill, even if the mole is the size of a Labrador retriever.

So, as I was freaking out, yet again, I decided to watch a little television to divert my attention to something less “rocky.” Since my mind couldn’t handle a lot, I tuned into “We Bought a Zoo,” a movie I had already seen in the theaters. To be honest, the movie had not impressed me that much. I considered it a “feel-good fluff piece.” But, I think that is because this is a movie where profound truths are delivered simply. In other words, it actually portrays real life, as opposed to some contrived, Hollywood-infused version of the truth.  For the record, Hollywood did take some liberties with the actual account of events, but I get the impression that a good deal of it is based in fact.

I had to watch it twice before some of the key phrases in the movie hit full force, but a few actually penetrated my thick skull. Here is the most minor of the concepts: That telling my children stories about their family and telling them the precise moment they started can be very special.  And that moment wasn’t conception; Benjamin Mee (the protagonist) would tell you it is the moment we first lay eyes on our spouses and the magic of that particular moment. It almost makes me want to revisit a softball field in West Lafayette, IN with my kids in tow.

But, perhaps the points that are more relevant to daily life have to do with something Benjamin’s brother taught him when he was young: It only takes 20 seconds of courage for something amazing to happen. Benjamin employed that thought to actually meet his future wife. He later encouraged his teenage son to do the same to repair a damaged relationship. He described that 20 seconds as “insane”, “terrifying,” and “embarrassing.” But, he told his son that when you venture to be that insane, terrified, and embarrassed, magical things happen every time.

When asked why he, who had no idea how to run a zoo, had bought one, he paused for a great deal of time and finally said, “Why not?” At first you think that Benjamin just pulled that out of the air because he had no better response to the question.  But, at the end of the film, you realize that “Why not?” was actually something that had been said to him by someone influential in his life. I won’t tell you who, since it would spoil the end of the movie for those who have not seen it, but suffice it to say, it hit me hard.

What are we, as individuals, as a society, as a world, missing out on because we are too afraid to venture a risky question, a risky, small move, or an idea? And what would happen if we all adopted the 20 second rule and just tried to be brave for 20 seconds? It may be that someone might magically say, “Why not?” in response to that terrifying question or idea. It may be that the situation improves. It may be that we get a much needed hug during a dark hour in our lives. It might be that we do something rather dramatic, like cure cancer, save a life or end world hunger. I like to think that Rosa Parks started a Civil Rights Movement just by being brave for 20 seconds….and really tired! And isn’t it interesting that we refer to it as “Movement”?

Benjamin’s wise brother also told him (when things do not look good for Mr. Mee), “If it’s the right thing to do, then nothing can stop you.”  Benjamin said he liked adventure and that buying a zoo was definitely an adventure. Perhaps that is how we should all view life–as an adventure, where sometimes the ride is a little bumpy and a little unpredictable, but thrilling in the end, because it’s the right thing to do.

What would be different for you if you were brave for 20 seconds and took “the road less traveled”–the adventurous route?  What would be different if that adventure led to accomplishing the right thing for ourselves, our communities and our society?

Do you have 20 seconds of courage today? If so, can you summon up enough will to be that insane, terrified and embarrassed? Perhaps you’re asking yourself why I would pose such a question to you today?

Why not? 🙂

Note on PTPC’s: You do not have to do ALL of these. Pick the one(s) that work for you. I’ll be happy if you just consider one of the following PTPC’s for this post!

Point to Ponder Challenge # 1: Watch the movie, “We Bought a Zoo” if you haven’t seen it so far. Here’s a link to various formats, if you don’t have this movie: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_15?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=we+bought+a+zoo+book&sprefix=We+Bought+a+Zoo%2Caps%2C210

Point to Ponder Challenge # 2: Read the book, “We Bought a Zoo,” if you haven’t so far. I’m a Kindle user, so here’s the Kindle link: http://www.amazon.com/We-Bought-Zoo-Amazing-ebook/dp/B001EMHNXA/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1358955573&sr=8-4&keywords=we+bought+a+zoo+book

Point to Ponder Challenge # 3: What fear(s) are immobilizing you? Write them down. Sometimes, recognition is the first step to change.

Point to Ponder Challenge # 4: What would you do with your 20 seconds of courage if fear wasn’t stopping you?  Write it down.