One of the post-DD-and-DSL-wedding perks is that I am 33 lbs. lighter these days. People still come up to me and say, “Wow! You look great!  What did you do?”  I offer up my journey to “MaryAnn 3.0” only because the “Battle of the Bulge” is often a very painful, back and forth journey for many people and not because I think I have it all figured out.  For all I know, tomorrow I may gain 33 lbs. But, for those who truly want to win the battle this time and want a little bit of hope, here is how I approached it and the lessons I have learned along the way. I have greatly modified my original version of this, so it may seem quite different for the FB readers! And since the original version was ridiculously long, I’m breaking this up into “bite-sized pieces,” so that it’s a little more easily “digested.” (Did you really think I would talk about dieting without throwing in some “groaner”-type humor? C’mon…you know me better than that!)

So, today’s “theme” of the bite-sized pieces is “mindset.” My “journey” began with the realization, one day, that I really do know how to lose weight and get healthy. I don’t need another diet book. I don’t need more gym equipment or another gym membership. I know what to do, because I’ve already tried a bunch of weight loss methods. So, the counselor in me decided I needed to get honest by answering a pile of questions about how I like to eat, workout and think! Folks? This was the key to my success. If you honestly answer these questions and design your “plan” around who you are, then you’ll succeed, too!

1. Do I enjoy cooking? When they were handing out the cooking gene, I apparently thought they said “hooking,” and avoided the line. The only time I enjoy cooking is on holidays, so if I’m going to diet, it has to involve as little time in the kitchen as possible. And I have noticed the more time I spend gawking at food, smelling food, cooking, doing dishes, and cleaning my kitchen, the more I eat. So, I don’t watch the Food Channel, don’t gawk at FB and Pinterest food pics and avoid my kitchen like the Bulge-bonic plague that it is. Step away from the Food porn!
2. What kind of time do I have to devote to healthy cooking? When I started this little “battle plan” of mine, I was in grad school, doing my counseling intern hours, working, studying for comps and helping my daughter plan her wedding. In other words, I had zero time to cook, even if I had gotten the gene.
3. How much money can I budget for eating in a healthy way? While I do think that, over time, you will come out about even on the money spent for healthy eating, the fact remains that changing what’s in your refrig and pantry is going to take some initial cash outlay, if you’re like most Americans. And no, eating up the bad stuff first is not okay. I know how you think.
4. Do I eat breakfast? Studies show that if you eat protein in the morning, you will most likely lose weight or weigh less. So, if you’re not a breakfast person, here’s your first “battleground.” I recommend trying to drink something by no later than 9 am, at first, to get yourself in the habit of consuming something in the morning. Then, work yourself up to having that protein. If you have to, work yourself backward from noon in 15 minute intervals.
5. Do I snack regularly? If not, you’re probably sabotaging your weight loss efforts. Yes, eat more often. This is how Dolly Parton took off her weight…she  broke her 3 big meals into 6 smaller meals, spaced evenly throughout the day. This causes your metabolism to work more efficiently. Dolly has kept her weight off, utilizing this little lifestyle change…for decades. I think all the weight went to her wigs.

To Be Continued on Friday: You 3.0: Mindset, Part II…

Tomorrow’s Post: I wish all my rivers were mink…

You might also like: Absolutely,  It’s All About the Splash, Think You Don’t Have What It Takes to Change the World…Think Again, Lessons Learned from the Woman’s Exam Day…

As a reminder, I only share what I’ve been doing as acts of kindness to a) keep myself accountable and b) to encourage my readers to think in creative ways about how they can do acts of kindness for others. Honestly, it’s awkward to write about what I’m doing–I feel like I’m calling attention to what I’m doing and that’s not what an act of kindness is all about, really. But, I hope my awkwardness about it does somehow inspire you to do these acts just because all of us could use some kindness from time to time. And maybe the act of kindness we do will be enough to stop another tragedy sometime in the future.

James Mattioli, last week’s honoree, loved to eat. So, this week I used a gift card I had for a local restaurant to pay for the next person’s order (the person behind me). I left before I could see the reaction on the person’s face, but the person taking my payment smiled, so that made my day!

So, that leaves our total at 33 for right now. What did you do to honor James?

This week’s honoree is Grace McDonnell. Here is what CNN had to say about Grace:

Grace McDonnell, 7

Picture picture

Last week’s Word of the Week was bosky. Bosky means having abundant trees or shrubs. In other words most of Texas is sans bosky.

This week’s word is thimblerig. As usual, submit your guess for thimblerig either via my contact page or through a comment below.

thimblerig: (ˈthim-bəl-rig) 1. the necessary equipment needed to hoist the Statue of Liberty’s thimble, if she had one 2. the size of a fire ant’s truck 3. the amount of oil generated from a drilling rig in downtown Manhattan.

Tomorrow’s Post: What was your act of kindness for this week?

You might also like: Word of the Week: bosky; Word of the Week: nepenthe; Word of the Week: provenience; Word of the Week: zarzuela

Several Saturdays ago I introduced my MIP readers to the haikus of Dave Mattson. Those first brief poems were largely serious in nature. But, Dave has a wry sense of humor as well and the haikus today reflect the more silly side of his poetic offerings. And Dave? I may not be able to answer your last question, but my favorite breakfasts always have dessert: Starbucks lattes with whipped cream. ‘Nuf said.

She’s baking cookies
Olfactory seduction
Gastronomic negligee

Please no more Haiku
Its sentimentality
Demeans limericks

Don’t burden children
With the responsibility
To train their parents

Let her sleep in
Served coffee in bed; her thanks?
Is the garbage out?

Can you tell me who
Male or female would desire
Clothes named “Sag Harbor”

Spraying Pam will not
Make your long johns easier
To slide on and off

In between naps I
Lie down until the urge to
Exercise subsides

I’ve lived long enough
To learn some roads not taken
Just lead to dead ends

Why do we bless a
Toxic sneeze’s germs and yet we
Shame a harmless belch

Who declared breakfast
The one meal without dessert?
I would like to know

Monday’s Post: Not too much bosky near the Bosque…

You might also enjoy: The poetry of Dave Mattson; When East Meets West; For Boston; Espresso; Green Eggs, One Fish, The Cat in the Hat and Me

If you are truly going to call yourself a naturalized Texan woman, there is one experience you must undertake.  Nope, it’s not wearing cowboy boots (Most Texas women wear stylish flip flops 9 months of the year, my dear Yankee friends. Sorry to burst your bubble on that one.).  Nope, it’s not donning a rhinestone-studded cowboy hat.  Nope, it’s not getting “big hair.”  Nope, it’s not riding a horse or roping a calf or shooting a gun.

To be truly Texan (or in my case, the naturalized version) and a Texan woman, one must visit the vaunted, hallowed Sam Moon. For my Yankee friends, Sam Moon is basically Cheap Accessory Heaven for us lady folk down here in the Lone Star State. And it makes Claire‘s and Icing look silly.  Why?  Because Sam Moon’s stores are about 10 times the size of a typical Claire‘s or Icing store.  And there is much more there than hair dohickies (It most certainly is a word!) and jewelry at Sam Moon.  There are rows upon rows of tables of purses, tiaras, luggage and now, home goods. It’s boggling.

Until last year, I could not claim naturalized Texan status. Yep, that’s right. I had lived in Texas for 20 years and have never been to Sam Moon. But, I don’t think my first trip will be my last trip.  For the uninitiated, here is the “411” on what to expect when stepping foot in a Sam Moon:

1. Remind yourself to pick your jaw off the floor after entering.

2. Sam must be Asian. And I think everyone who works at Sam Moon‘s must be his friends and family.

3. They are serious about plastic coverings on things at Sam Moon.

4. I cannot explain our stupidity in not visiting this store when the DD had to wear an average of 4 evening gowns per year during high school.

5. If they have it in clear colors, they have it in red, pink, blue, purple, gold, cream, black and probably orange.

6. Not everything at Sam Moon is cheap. But that’s a good thing…for my wallet.

7. If you think you’re spending $ 50 at Sam Moon, you are dead wrong. Double that….at least.

8. The DD and I do not have the same taste in jewelry or purses. But, we are pretty good at spotting the things that the other does like.

9. I do recommend a “team approach” to tackling this store. See # 8. Next time, I’m bringing “backup.”

10. If you have a definite idea of what you want at Sam Moon, you’ll change that idea at least 5 times in the course of picking something out.

11. If you can walk out of Sam Moon without buying something, you are a man.

12. If you are a man and forced to accompany a woman to this store, bring War and Peace and one of those folding chairs.  Bring a drink for the cup holder. Maybe two. Snacks are probably a good idea, too.

13. There are no one-hour trips to Sam Moon.  Plan on at least two, if not three or four hours.

14. I am a sucker for a bargain.  I am a sucker for real leather purses for under $ 40, too. *sigh* (But, can I add that I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my leather handbag that is really holding up well???)

15. Don’t see something that’s your particular taste??? Who are you? Ivana???

16. If it costs more than $ 5, then it’s in the “high security area.”  And you have to buy it in order to coordinate it with other things in other parts of Sam Moon.  Those clever Asians.

17. If you want to think about your high security item, you can put it in a box and take a number coordinating with that box, so it can be retrieved later when you decide you’re an idiot if you don’t buy it.

18. Apparently, a lot of people take advantage of those boxes.

19. Those boxes are not nearly big enough. I recommend refrigerator box size.

20. They keep building more Sam Moons. And they seem to get closer and closer to my home. This is not a good thing for my wallet. I would say that it might lead to a divorce, but the PH discovered the Sam Moon luggage store.  No War & Peace necessary.

Tomorrow’s Post: Remember Mattson?

You may also like: Lessons Learned from Committing a Neatness on My Laundry Room  and Lessons Learned from my Dentist.

Keith A. Turley‘s book, More than This, is yet another book I procured because I heard him speak at the writer’s conference I attended. For those of you who are tired of hearing me drone on about the writer’s conference, here’s the good news: You only have to suffer through one more book that I purchased from the conference and it’s a very interesting novel.

Again, I heard Keith speak in a workshop at the conference and was struck that his writing is devotional in nature and started by accident as he sent his friends emails about what he was reading each day. Often, I find myself doing the same thing, minus the emails. At first I thought Turley restricted himself to Biblical quotations  each day, but I was so wrong. Turley may happen upon a quote somewhere, anywhere and use that as his focus for the day.

Often I found my thoughts going in a different direction from his after reading the quote. But thankfully, Turley leaves space below his reflections for the reader to jot down their own notes. He knows me too well!

The devotionals towards the end of his book, beginning on page 105, were more thought-provoking for me, but perhaps that was because I read them all in one session when I was in a better frame of mind or could concentrate better??? Here are a few that struck me:

1. “When I read His word I need to act on them, not just walk away with a warm fuzzy feeling or good intentions…I need to realize that it may take time for my actions, or even my intentions, to bear fruit.”

2. “His desire for me is that I would allow the Holy Spirit to fill me, to lead me, to work with me and in spite of me….The hard part is determining which are my responsibilities and which are His. How much am I supposed to do? If I fail at work I thought God was leading me to do, does that mean it wasn’t meant to be done or does it mean I didn’t allow for His strength?…if I did [know,] I probably wouldn’t try some things that seem too daunting.”

3. “The fact…remains that often [others] are not out there screaming they are His instruments….Think about how you are His worker even at times when you think you are not doing anything to minister to others.”

Some of Turley‘s thoughts and cited quotes will definitely make the Quotes page soon!

Tomorrow’s Post: Moon over Texas?

You might also like: Live!, Jesus Poetry Slam, Laughter from Heaven, not a fan., The Hole in our Gospel, i am not but i know I AM, and 20 Books.

When I started doing this crazy thing called writing, I decided I was going to be pretty honest…I say pretty honest because…let’s face it…this stuff could wind up sending me to court, if I’m not careful, so I do choose to edit myself to protect the ancient (I’m anything but innocent anymore.).

And so, today, this note is probably one of the toughest I’ll ever write, but it is in keeping with what I’ve written so far…pretty much the unvarnished truth.

I lost my dad a week ago today.

One of the realities of this life is that we will all, in some way, lose our parents at some point. Some abandon their children…for a wide variety of reasons…some cannot raise them and choose to put them up for adoption (the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do). Some abandon them because they are cowards.

And the rest of them die. I’m not sure I like the phrase “pass away”…I only use it because it seems to make others feel less squeamish about the whole death thing. But, the phrase seems weird and awkward to me, so I prefer to simply say they died. Again, this is the truth.

This is the second time down this road for me. I lost my mom in 2003 and it is not unusual to lose your other parent shortly thereafter…in fact, most die within 2 years of the other one and this is a particular pattern when men are the surviving spouse.

So, I know pretty much what to expect. I’m going to have intermittent periods of inexplicable crying for the next 2 years…they will be frequent for the next few months and then gradually lessen. At times I will question my sanity and seek books on grieving to make sure it isn’t time to commit me to Bellevue. But, even after 2 years, there will be times when I still cry for no good reason other than “it hits me.”

What is interesting to me is that with Mom, the stupid stuff made me cry…I looked at her pics all week to gather them for a PowerPoint retrospective and for the viewing. I never cried once…I was pretty darn clinical about that…even of pics with just me. But, after a week of making funeral plans, writing a eulogy, and working on closing out Mom’s estate, I left Mom and Dad’s house and cried when I looked at her microwave. Explain that one to me! And this pattern continued for quite some time.

This go round I’m seem to cry for the “right reasons”…Taps being played for my dad, an African American Naval officer in dress whites giving the flag to my brother when I know my dad took it upon himself to teach an all-African American Seabee unit in WWII how to read and write, thinking about the honest, simple legacy my dad tried to leave, despite his flaws, and the fact that now, it is just my brothers and me.

I feel 3 again and ill-equipped to face the world as an “orphan.” I know that legally that is not true, but it’s how I feel. And I know that when both parents are gone, my generation’s turn is next. As the youngest, I will probably bury my brothers, too, barring another heart attack on my part…or maybe the migraine from you know where. There are lots of advantages to being the youngest, but this is not one of them.

Is my dad in a better place? Yes. Was his life here the last few years a happy one? No. Was it time for him to go? I think so. Did we do what we should to take care of him. Pretty much. I still feel like a failure, nonetheless. That I didn’t do all I should have done.

Will it be okay? Absolutely. Will I see him again? Absolutely. Will it be a joyous day? Absolutely. Will I dance in my dad’s arms again as I did on my wedding day? Absolutely. Will my dad forgive me? Absolutely. Do I know that this sadness is merely proof that I don’t have the most callous, selfish heart in the world? Absolutely. Am I glad that’s so? Absolutely. Do I know that many care? Absolutely. Do I know that millions of others have felt the same? Absolutely. Do I still feel alone????….absolutely.

Tomorrow’s Post: I want more than this…